This post was supposed to be about something else but I'll just put that on the back burner for a bit (Thank you blogger.com for letting me save drafts). I've been rather incommunicado eh? Well, many reasons; the rain gods have ABANDONED me! 2 days of rain and I get so excited and happy..and then nothing for the next 2 weeks? It's enough to make anyone depressed! Especially someone who longs for dull, dark, gloomy days! Plus, I've been sick (boohoo!). Though I'm supremely grateful to be still living at home and having Amma nurse me back to health from a rather nasty bout of viral fever....varan-baath, adrak chai
and Crocin - my diet for the last 4 days. I'm sure I've lost some poundage (Yes!).
Anyway, I've been musing over things. And people. Ever since VisualScribe
and me went on this uber-long walk/coffeeshop haunting on Sunday. We talked about a lot of things, mainly how our views and wants ahve changed around the age 30 mark. Suddenly sex isn't that important. (I use "that" to emphasize I do like a bit of it now and then - preferably accompanied with a good dinner beforehand). It's the companionship that matters. I've been hanging around with almost exclusively coupled people the last couple of months and while they bitch and moan about not being alone to do what they want, they always have someone to do it with. That's what us single people are missing really. I mean when you're 25 it's all about the next fuck, at 30 suddenly it starts looking very different. You miss the physical closeness of someone, the mental peace of sharing your deepest issues and needs with someone, the emotional stability a partner provides. (I'm guessing at 35 it moves into the cynical view that single is best) I watched this Sex and the City episode a few nights ago when Carrie turns 35 and no one shows up to her birthday party. That episode really touched me because of the morning-after conversation she has with her friends. She talks about how it suddenly hit her just how alone she was..and how sad she felt that she didn't have someone. While I understand that you don't "have" to have someone, at some point every human needs and deserves that companion. I've reached that point. So have several people my age I know. Is there something about turning 30 that makes you think like this? Suddenly I'm looking at apartments to evaluate whether a couple would like it, looking at clothes I wouldn't mind sharing, investigating dates before going on them, adding the dreaded "financial" bit to the normal qualities I look for....
Am I getting old?
I'm getting harsh with people I feel aren't contributing - friends, co-workers, family, dates. If I'm not getting what I want from you, I'm just cutting you out. Why do I do that? Is it some sub-concious need to protect myself now that I have more to lose? I've yelled at someone who just called to say hi yesterday for calling me after a long while being incommunicado and not following through on promises to have dinner/drinks/catch up. Yeah, like I don't know what that means!
"Let's do drinks sometime" = "I'm being polite but I'm not really interested in knowing you"
G-d! I'm turning into such a cynic! (From Carrie to Miranda?) No contact in a month and people are off my phone list, no contact in 2 and they're off my IM list, any more and outta my life...
In other news, I think I cut off my balls and pickled them when I spent 30 minutes helping a friend pick out lingerie at La Senza. I guess the only way I can get them back is by drinking a pitcher of beer and vomitting down the front of some girls tee while I'm freaking with her. Sigh.
Or I can wear my colours and support SERBIA for World Cup Champs 2006! Woohoo! They play Argentina tonight. I'll be the only one at Seijo on their side I bet...
Complainte de la butte - Rufus Wainwright
I absolutely love how 1950's French cafe this sounds. And I love Rufus' lifestyle! And waht a voice eh? (Why do I giggle when I see the name of this song?)