Finally.

It's happenin' to me..right in front of my face and I just cannot hide it...

Now that I've got that amazingly catchy disco number out of the way (and created some disturbing Priscilla visuals in my head), I must apologize for not writing - I have written tons of letters to people..so I guess my juices were all directed in that direction. Since I've been so remiss with this, I suppose it's time to make up for it. Especially now that my appearance on TV has ....changed NOTHING :-)

Well, other than the fact I had a rather awkward call with the parents once they started getting phone call after phone call from concerned auntiejis who had spotted me being outed on TV by Barkha Dutt, nothing has really changed. Oh, that and the free coffee from 2 very attractive women at Koshy's who recognized me from the TV show. Still waiting for the 2 very attractive "men" at koshy's to do the same. I suspect I will be waiting for a while on this.

Meanwhile, the longing to move back to Bombay is becoming a lot more urgent. Especially now that Bombay is apparently going through some sort of cold wave (10 C in Bombay!! Amma is probably wearing her quilts now!) while Bangalore swelters on. Is it global warming? Or is it G-d's punishment for having specimens like Raj Thackeray and his goondas beating up the northies in Bombay to protest some college Aishwarya "I'm a plastic doll" Bachhan is building in UP? Do they not realize if it wasn't for the northies, Bombay would be full of pale, chubby men named Milind? Though I digress, I still admit to have a love for the green-eyed ghati variety. If the Kannadigas here in Bangalore had those eyes, I'd be all over them before you could say "Ondu, yeredu, mooru". But they don't.

Bangalore, besides it's 11.30 pm deadline for clubs/bars to close also has a new law now. No dancing. This is becoming more and more like that town Kevin Bacon lived in in Footloose. I need to watch it again to figure out how he solved that issue. Though from my recollections of the movie, I can't dance up the Vidhana Souda steps doing my best imitation of "Cut loose, footloose, kick off your Sunday shoes" to get the evil sheriff (or his nearest Kannadiga equivalent - they both share a love for cowboy hats anyway) to cancel this silly law. Till then, I have to hang out at the Beach on 100 ft road bopping my head like some stupid SNL skit (and stare at the obnoxiously good looking bartender). Oh I long for Bombay and Hawaiian Shack. I will never complain about the Virar-local-like quality of that club anymore!

In other news, I just had a birthday and am now officially in my "early thirties". Chez Vik was honoured by the presence of a bunch of folk who showed up and sat through my pathetic attempts at DJing a party with only Arabic soul and Jay-Z on my playlist. I swear..Darine's "Aiwa" is officially DEAD to me now. On the other hand, my belief that gay men are big drinkers was kinda smashed (just like I was!) when I found I had something like 2 dozen beers left over from the party! They stare at me every evening when I get home...as if to say "How dare you not drink us. We promise not to take your waist from a 30 to a 34 if you will only taste some of us" LIARS! I only have to sniff a beer to feel the belly grow. And since Take 5 got it's Belgian beer range, I'm scarfing them down like there's no tommorow. Which there isn't - considering the hangovers I have to deal with the next day. I now know what a straight man mouth feels like. I can taste yeast the first thing I wake up.

(catching S. as she faints from sheer disgust)

I did get some nice presents though. A lot of clocks. Is it a hint for me to be more on time to things? Or a play on how little time I have left on G-d's good earth? A nice lamp - to light up my life perhaps? (I would have prefered a dumb Punjabi hunk - but hey! It's the thought that counts) A couple of awesome books (easily the fastest way into my pants) and a poster of the Paki band Strings "AUTOGRAPHED"! That was awesome - Sar ki hai yeh pahaar is the one song I hum everytime I have a walk of more than 10 minutes to do..

Thank you all! And a general kiss to everyone who mailed me on Facebook to wish me..ever since I got rid of my cellphone (yes, I'm a Luddite!), Facebook is the only way to contact me.. so all thos epeople who email me "Hallo Dear, Vt izz UR phn no?" , please assume this is my general FU in your direction. I have no phone! Take that in your pipe and smoke it!