I *heart* Bombay (and well..Boston)

I'm urban..in the way other people are mountain-people or tunafish junkies. I love city life...something about dreary concrete blocks and grumpy people totally gets my juices flowing. Ergo, this will be a blog about me, my two favourite cities (Bombay and Boston), my addiction to Vietnamese coffee and my views on Gregorian chant and it's efficacy in curing some types of tympannic membrane rupture. Enjoy!

Friday, February 08, 2008

Finally.

It's happenin' to me..right in front of my face and I just cannot hide it...

Now that I've got that amazingly catchy disco number out of the way (and created some disturbing Priscilla visuals in my head), I must apologize for not writing - I have written tons of letters to people..so I guess my juices were all directed in that direction. Since I've been so remiss with this, I suppose it's time to make up for it. Especially now that my appearance on TV has ....changed NOTHING :-)

Well, other than the fact I had a rather awkward call with the parents once they started getting phone call after phone call from concerned auntiejis who had spotted me being outed on TV by Barkha Dutt, nothing has really changed. Oh, that and the free coffee from 2 very attractive women at Koshy's who recognized me from the TV show. Still waiting for the 2 very attractive "men" at koshy's to do the same. I suspect I will be waiting for a while on this.

Meanwhile, the longing to move back to Bombay is becoming a lot more urgent. Especially now that Bombay is apparently going through some sort of cold wave (10 C in Bombay!! Amma is probably wearing her quilts now!) while Bangalore swelters on. Is it global warming? Or is it G-d's punishment for having specimens like Raj Thackeray and his goondas beating up the northies in Bombay to protest some college Aishwarya "I'm a plastic doll" Bachhan is building in UP? Do they not realize if it wasn't for the northies, Bombay would be full of pale, chubby men named Milind? Though I digress, I still admit to have a love for the green-eyed ghati variety. If the Kannadigas here in Bangalore had those eyes, I'd be all over them before you could say "Ondu, yeredu, mooru". But they don't.

Bangalore, besides it's 11.30 pm deadline for clubs/bars to close also has a new law now. No dancing. This is becoming more and more like that town Kevin Bacon lived in in Footloose. I need to watch it again to figure out how he solved that issue. Though from my recollections of the movie, I can't dance up the Vidhana Souda steps doing my best imitation of "Cut loose, footloose, kick off your Sunday shoes" to get the evil sheriff (or his nearest Kannadiga equivalent - they both share a love for cowboy hats anyway) to cancel this silly law. Till then, I have to hang out at the Beach on 100 ft road bopping my head like some stupid SNL skit (and stare at the obnoxiously good looking bartender). Oh I long for Bombay and Hawaiian Shack. I will never complain about the Virar-local-like quality of that club anymore!

In other news, I just had a birthday and am now officially in my "early thirties". Chez Vik was honoured by the presence of a bunch of folk who showed up and sat through my pathetic attempts at DJing a party with only Arabic soul and Jay-Z on my playlist. I swear..Darine's "Aiwa" is officially DEAD to me now. On the other hand, my belief that gay men are big drinkers was kinda smashed (just like I was!) when I found I had something like 2 dozen beers left over from the party! They stare at me every evening when I get home...as if to say "How dare you not drink us. We promise not to take your waist from a 30 to a 34 if you will only taste some of us" LIARS! I only have to sniff a beer to feel the belly grow. And since Take 5 got it's Belgian beer range, I'm scarfing them down like there's no tommorow. Which there isn't - considering the hangovers I have to deal with the next day. I now know what a straight man mouth feels like. I can taste yeast the first thing I wake up.

(catching S. as she faints from sheer disgust)

I did get some nice presents though. A lot of clocks. Is it a hint for me to be more on time to things? Or a play on how little time I have left on G-d's good earth? A nice lamp - to light up my life perhaps? (I would have prefered a dumb Punjabi hunk - but hey! It's the thought that counts) A couple of awesome books (easily the fastest way into my pants) and a poster of the Paki band Strings "AUTOGRAPHED"! That was awesome - Sar ki hai yeh pahaar is the one song I hum everytime I have a walk of more than 10 minutes to do..

Thank you all! And a general kiss to everyone who mailed me on Facebook to wish me..ever since I got rid of my cellphone (yes, I'm a Luddite!), Facebook is the only way to contact me.. so all thos epeople who email me "Hallo Dear, Vt izz UR phn no?" , please assume this is my general FU in your direction. I have no phone! Take that in your pipe and smoke it!

26 Comments:

  • At 5:28 AM, Blogger Akash said…

    FINALLY! I was almost beginning to believe that the blog stands abandoned. Interesting that V dearest is throwing hints left, right and centre on how to get him! I'm certainly concentrating, wonder how many more are ;)!

     
  • At 4:16 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Happy Birthday Vikster! Many happy returns from a fan in NY, and its great to know you are alive and kicking!

     
  • At 2:42 AM, Blogger Rishi said…

    heres wishing u a belated happy birthday!! Hopin there are many many more, so that we have more interesting posts to read, time and again.

    Cheers!
    Rishi

     
  • At 11:31 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Who says Aishwarya is plastic? Media? People? Just because she is not a great actor? I felt the same earlier but admit here that I was myopic.

    Have you met her? If you get a chance, you will fall in love with her. She is a darling and very real with a good sense of humour. The way media projects her as someone who laughs for nothing is wrong too. She enjoys every moment in life and her giggles are her own ways that convince you when you meet her. We all have our own ways! If some people don't like it, they need to look at themselves first. Who is perfect and at least someone knows how to enjoy life- kal ho na ho!

     
  • At 6:34 PM, Blogger anikate said…

    hey I love ur blog...its a great reading.u surely got a nice style of writing...very honest and genuine.enjoyed every word of it including the punctuation...keep writing...more...have awesome weekend.tc....may thsi weekw ill churn some more ideas and the word just get formed into piece of another delightfull prose.tc

     
  • At 10:46 PM, Blogger Bikerdude said…

    Bangalore "swelters on"? Wha..? Get off those mushrooms immediately!!

    Or perhaps it was the Bavarian Beer that warmed your.. err cockles a little too much. ;)

     
  • At 5:45 AM, Blogger *Aham* said…

    This comment has been removed by the author.

     
  • At 5:46 AM, Blogger *Aham* said…

    finally finally.. the wait is over... so happy that you blogged.

    i wish to meet you and give you a hearty hugg. come to bombay. FAST!

     
  • At 4:33 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Happy Valentine's Day, Vik!

    -NY

     
  • At 9:45 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    kaise hai ri? kya kar rahi hai ajjkal?

    Chabbo rani (wink wink)

     
  • At 4:32 PM, Blogger Wild Reeds said…

    Hi Viks,
    I saw the Barkha Dutt show and after getting over my initial delight at seeing you on the telly, I couldn't help but feel dismayed by the sheer ignorance of people about what blogging is about... the whole discussion about voyeurism seemed to me quite naive.
    Anyway two thumbs up to you for doing the show - you seemed relaxed and didn't go on the defensive. Smart.

     
  • At 8:36 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    heyyy.. what show was this?? tell us more!

     
  • At 3:13 AM, Blogger therapy said…

    Hey I'm glad to catch up on the blog.

    I hate to be the one, But But, there are no attractive AND conversation worthy men at Koshy's. I would know. SIgh.

     
  • At 10:25 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    please go back to bombay

     
  • At 12:20 PM, Blogger Fanaah said…

    Hahah nice read.N whilst I put my socks on before I hit the sack in Brrr Bombay... Happy belated Bday :)

     
  • At 11:10 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    kitnay din ho gaye lekin koee nahi post nahi

    birthday kay bare mein leekh aur happy belated birthday

    Chabbo rani

     
  • At 1:10 PM, Anonymous Ritwik Banerjee said…

    Just one tiny perspective on the winter this year: cold is a boon, not a punishment! I would love our planet earth the day it snows in Delhi (where I am right now) and goes below 10 C in Bombay (where I am moving to).

     
  • At 10:19 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    http://www.ndtv.com/convergence/ndtv/videopod/default.aspx?id=22159

     
  • At 10:29 PM, Blogger rajeev said…

    I like your style of writing and your humour...good job

     
  • At 11:58 AM, Blogger sheetal said…

    hmmm
    cheers...

     
  • At 10:26 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    And have we finished reading the Hitchhiker's Guide?

    you know who...

     
  • At 12:20 AM, Blogger Raghu said…

    Quick, gimme your postal address. I will send you a couple of great books... If that what it takes...

     
  • At 10:23 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    hey i just stopped by to say hello. you know who this is. anyway the dry spell is over and I had more sex than I care to talk about --no penetration, but lots of rubbing, etc...is that still sex? I don't know for me it is. There were a few guys who tried to go into that love canal but man, talk about tight old bitch --that's me. I thought it was going to be easy, just lube it up and go for it, but no. apparently I have to practice with a few fingers and work my way up to a whole penis.
    right now I'm making some inroads with a guy who's got one that more okra sized but of course my eyes are on the prize, this columbian friend whose thing is as big as two coke cans, ouch --what a work out. anyway this one guy said I was a power bottom and I was like," what is that? can I goggle it?"

    anyway, more lame sex stuff later. I think that you can end your dry spell by just putting your head in the water and getting wet. Most guys look better naked and on their backs. Also, it's okay to move around a little, ---safely though. more than the stop looking and he'll find you ( mostly works for straights ) I think you should just date anything you can get your hands on and then you're going to magically be more attractive to other guys and the guy you want cause guys can sense that you've gone from being a cold fish to a hot plate. What i've learned very quickly is that guys want what they can't have and that a man instantly becomes more sexy to other men when he's getting some --- you're going to give off the right attitude and pheremones if you're doing "it" so just do it. anyway best of luck and I'm going to send some intense sex/boyfriend waves in your direction to help u get that man in 2008.

    -you know who.

     
  • At 11:30 PM, Anonymous summer skies said…

    feb 8? the last post was on feb 8?? it's bloody mid april!! where are you??

     
  • At 7:27 PM, Blogger The Horny Chef said…

    just started reading your blog .....loves it ...let me start from da start .....hope u wud not mind the comments ;-)

     
  • At 8:34 PM, Blogger Quaint Murmur said…

    Heylo!

    I watched the NDTV show and thought you made a lot of sense,and you were vociferous without trying to shove your opinion down peoples' throats...

    This is the first time I'm visiting and I think I'll continue to do so.

    I hope you get all that you wish for this year! (oh and always:) )

     

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