I *heart* Bombay (and well..Boston)

I'm urban..in the way other people are mountain-people or tunafish junkies. I love city life...something about dreary concrete blocks and grumpy people totally gets my juices flowing. Ergo, this will be a blog about me, my two favourite cities (Bombay and Boston), my addiction to Vietnamese coffee and my views on Gregorian chant and it's efficacy in curing some types of tympannic membrane rupture. Enjoy!

Monday, August 11, 2008

Almost an Olympic sport

"How do you know XYZ?"

"Oh, I hooked up with him a couple of months ago. And how do you know him?"

"Well, my ex boyfriend used to do him a year ago and I'm planning on doing him in a couple of weeks. My best friend is doing him now."

The Bombay dating pool is big. But still, I find myself dipping and double dipping into the same pool that everyone I hang out with is in ... paddling away and deep diving occasionally. Which then lends itself to some piquant situations ... How does one react when you bump into your best friend on a date with someone who stood you up on yours? How do you react when your colleague starts shagging someone you have been actively pursuing for weeks? Is it OK to lose respect for your friend when he does someone else's boyfriend behind his back?

At least Bombay has a big Olympic sized dating pool. Bangalore's was a water filled pothole on the Eastern Express highway in comparison.

My friend A. thinks that it's not like that at all.. Bombay is just a series of large pools (Where am I going with this swimming metaphor? I think so much Michael Phelps amazing body watching has turned my brains). A pool for the creatively-inclined, a pool for the media queens, a pool for the call center crowd, a pool for the lawyers ... and most people tend to swim in their same pools. It's tough to swim in another pool. You have to shower and change first which is such an effort. Then you have to learn the backstroke cause in your pool you've only ever done the breaststroke (Trying hard not to say doggy style paddling!) So you just wade and loll about in your own space. And that's where the issue lies.

I'm sick of me and my friends finding the same people attractive, dating the same people and dumping the same people. It's such a hassle to plan a dinner now...have to make sure you invite someone you like while discreetly figuring out if he was indeed the same person who your best friend detests after their bad sexperience. And even worse, having to NOT invite the person you really like to protect him from the competition you'd have in a group.

And the advertising guy in me wonders if there are still any untapped markets left in here? Is that why gay men look for younger and younger partners to date? Just to get there before anyone else has had a chance to date them? To find somebody who has no baggage? (As opposed to me who is renting a space in Kopar Khairane to store all my emotional baggage).

When did dating get to be such a chore? Is there anybody left at all?


  • At 12:37 AM, Blogger Kris Bass said…

    Hey, I haven't dived that deep into the Mumbai pool yet and hence, I have just vicarious experiences to dispense my knowledge. But this sounds really like a dark devilish sub-plot in the already demanding dating scene. I guess it's easier because I am not really looking to hook up with anyone.

    And I totally love your analogy. And all the 'male' swimmers (the people who participate in the men's competition) are so delicious!

  • At 12:37 AM, Blogger Kris Bass said…

    I should have added 'It's easier ofr me because...'

  • At 12:38 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    just grin and bear it.

  • At 12:49 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…


    funny blog about gay dating hell!

  • At 12:57 AM, Anonymous akash said…

    you remember university dating pools and how cramped they were???

    theres a reason im tired of college...

  • At 12:59 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    kris bass ---

    Delicious is so 1987. ( especially with an "!" )

    hahahah --what a flashback.

  • At 1:14 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    It's official, I'm in love with Kriss Bass.
    He is officially my mumbai cherry pie.
    I want that man!

    -your secret lover
    Miss Adela Quested
    "Come in my cave anytime."

  • At 5:06 AM, Blogger Kris Bass said…

    Whoa, what do you know! I was blog-trotting and now I have a secret lover? Cool!

  • At 5:10 AM, Blogger Vikster said…

    Bloggers swim in the same pool too.

    Kris, I thought you were more a lifeguard?

  • At 9:33 AM, Blogger Akash said…

    Hun, stop whining and setting up others and find someone for yourself, even if it ends up being incestuous on the friends front :P

    Experience talks!

  • At 9:53 AM, Blogger Kush said…

    God! What's with the gay scene in Vikster's Bombay? Promiscuity is such a 1970's US phenomenon. Gay world has moved ahead since.

    And besides, haven't you heard of the Elizabeth Taylor approach to sexuality ie. serial monogamy?

    Grow up!

  • At 1:08 PM, Blogger Kris Bass said…

    @ Vik: I was? I mean, I am?

    @ Akash: Who has set up whom? I never knew of Vik's pimp-itude.

    @ Kush: I haven't heard about it but it's cool 'Serial Monogamy'! ;)

  • At 2:30 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Dear Kris Bass,

    I'm going to stick to one kind of cereal too, I dig brand loyalty, especially at breakfast time. Kriss Bass Sugar Smacks, a wholesome treat for kids and secret admirer's all over the world.

    --Miss Adele Quested.

  • At 3:11 PM, Anonymous akash said…

    just to clarify- second akash is a different akash from the first akash and the first akash has no idea what the second akash is talking about-

    A very confused first Akash

  • At 10:16 AM, Blogger Akash said…

    Second Akash speaking, Vik knows who this is, so let's have him respond himself!

    And oh yeah V, is it getting time to shift to Delhi soon, now that the Mumbai scene holds no promise :P?

  • At 11:40 PM, Blogger Vikster said…

    Kris: Swimmers are delicious but not when they've passed through every shower in town!

    Anony1: Grinning and bearing it sounds more like a prescription for a good fuck!

    Akash1 (The Bombay one): Dude! If I was in a frat house, I wouldn't mind at all! So quit complaining and get back to those farm boys!

    Adela: He's not single but will try my best to get you hooked up.

    Akash2 (The Dalli one): Incestuous is good too..but the friends are friends for a reason! Excpet for 2 who I have big hopes of but they're all "in relationships"...which means they'll shag everyone else but not people who know their bfs.

    Kush: Yeah...Bombay reminds me of 1970's NYC in a lot of ways...and it's scary seeing we have the 1980's to look forward to now.

    Akash1: You're the Bombay one so don't get confused!

    Akash2: I've heard the Dallis is even worse? Plus my experience with moving to another city isn't the greatest...so I wouldn't want to jump from the frying pan into the panneer kabab filled choola.

  • At 1:23 AM, Blogger Kris Bass said…

    What more should I say? I'm honored! And amused!

  • At 3:33 AM, Blogger Akash said…

    Vik: Sweets, I thought "I" was the good part of the moving experience :P, so maybe the Dalli move won't be that bad and I promise to be your wingman, remember I have success on my side currently :D

  • At 10:23 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    delhi bhi same hai- Lekin sab uloo log hai jinka deemag jooto mein hai aur khas karke delhi kay punjabi

    chaboo rani

  • At 9:01 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Kris and Vik, you are both adorable and I love to read your blogs...keep up the great writing...AP

  • At 3:13 PM, Blogger Kris Bass said…

    Guess what, you have just been felicitated.

    Check this link out.


  • At 7:51 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    thanks Vic, you work your magic, but you can't out a bitch like Miss. Quested --you know the cardinal rule between all pimps and ho's. It's okay to lie to protect a bitch. It's the code of the streets.
    --duncan .

  • At 8:04 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    hahahha, but at least there is a pool where you can dip, double dip, re-dip, or whatever..... in Mumbai.

  • At 11:50 PM, Blogger Prash said…

    Hello !
    First time here, got here through kris bass!

    Well, my ex boyfriend used to do him a year ago and I'm planning on doing him in a couple of weeks. My best friend is doing him now.

    Laughed out louder !

    The Bombay dating pool is big
    Really...I should move to BBY, then ! don't tell what I just said to my boyfriend though !

    Good luck for your future datings !

  • At 11:58 AM, Blogger Ranjani said…

    Double dipping is kosher now!!

  • At 5:15 AM, Blogger Prash said…

    Kriss bass said that you are looking for advices !

    Don't search!!! When you search, you have expectations (even if you don't realize it) and expectations will only lead to deceptions ! Most of the long-lasting couples I saw they told me that they their love just came along...and when they searched it didn't work out ! Your day will come...patience !

  • At 7:11 AM, Blogger Vikster said…

    Akash2: Wingman in the Dallis? Does that concept even exist here? I tried having a wingman on my bi-weekly trips to Zenzi but everyone we hit on ended up going home with the wingman!

    Chabbo Rani: Weirdly enough, on my last trip there I seem to have met the ONLY 2 Dallis Punjus who had brains and personalities to match. Pity they were dating each other LOL!

    AP: I thank you and know Kris does too.

    Kris: I dont know what I'm supposed to do with that!

    Duncan: Did I out you?

    Manav: Yeah, I shudder to imagine what it's like in Calcutta or ..gulp..Ranchi!

    Prash: Care to tell me how you landed a mans? I'm wondering how this whole thing works in an Indian scenario.

    Ranjani: Kosher? Oy, I should know!

  • At 3:11 PM, Anonymous Roop said…

    awww. came here from Kris's blog. can't offer u any answers considering my zero knowledge of mumbai but can give you support that one day, it shall happen! hang in there!! :)))

    on a separate note, u know what'd be cool i thought ... if you ended your 'About me' section with "I am queer like that" ... as opposed to "I am weird like that" .... that would be a classic pun. :)) no offence meant ... just thought it'd be funny-cool!!!!

  • At 10:00 PM, Blogger Gagan said…

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