So this made me laugh...

I love taking pictures of signs in India..crack me up most of the time. My phone is full of images of "Dead Slow Hump Ahead" and "No Cycle Pushing Allowed" and "Rs. 100 off one top and take 2 bottoms free!". I've even blogged one of my favourites here.

Anyway, Irshy sent me a forwarded email that has been cracking me up most of the afternoon...Here are the images I've been giggling about for a while.



For all you non-Hindi speakers, well...too bad.






Starbucks comes to India..
(I think this was quite close to where
Morning Cock resides..)






Wanna bet Hiro's a Sindhi?





Ah the joys of being an Indian VIP! A
western loo all to yourself!






As a Grammar Nazi, I'm about to go Belsen on their ass!








A cock for 10 bucks?
I've totally been pricing myself outta the market!







Ahh..the pleasures of a nice warm cumbath at Bangalore Cantt!





I would love a man under one roof. (Just what are they selling here?)




Nuff said.










Anyone mention political correctness?

Thank you guardian angel!

Whoever it was who rescued me from a rather lonely evening at 13th floor on Thursday watching the rain and eating fries by sending over that steady stream of sour apple martinis, thank you!

You made my evening and got me very drunk in the process. Next time, please come up and introduce yourself..the waiter was very tight-lipped about who you were.

Not another music post!

YouTube continues to delight my every waking hour..(Well, the ones not spent watching porn anyway - Ah! The travails of the single Indian male!) And ever since I've discovered the rich treasure trove of Hindi movie songs that have been my particular delight growing up in the 80's on YouTube, I've been in heaven. Just thought I'd list out some of my favourites..

1. Bhool Gaya Sab Kuch - Julie http://youtube.com/watch?v=p2KieJfByZQ
This song fascinates me to this day..Romantic and all - but how's the poor hero (and my namesake) supposed to fuck the poor heroine when she's all togged up in an Egyptian mummy outfit with that ghastly 50-count bedsheet? I particularly love the little fan spinning away as they do the nasty..everyone knows how hot and sticky an afternoon romp in India can get!

2. Pyaar Karne Waale - Shaan http://youtube.com/watch?v=xZMewkB09KY
The closest I came to hetero-dom was leering at Parveen Babi shaking her jugs while singing this awesome song. Parveen - Shukriya, Karam and Meherbaani for all those awesome moments! Particularly like the thunder-thigh junior artists!

3. I Am A Disco Dancer - Disco Dancer http://youtube.com/watch?v=qP31aGQdjsQ
Ahh Mithun, if you were 10 years younger and I was 10 years older, I'd totally have done you! Tight white pants, the moves of a champ and that headband! Nice! (Sidenote: I think I have a bigger mouth than that woman who scream "WOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWW")

4. Saara Zamaana - Yaarana http://youtube.com/watch?v=7fuo1NTJYl8
A booby Neetu Singh in a Jaslok hospital maternity-ward smock is totally over-shadowed by a suit-of-lights clad Amitabh. Cheesy, loud and sooo Bollywood! I love this song and the fact that Amitabh has his ass outlined in lights for much of the song. What were the costume designers smoking?

5. Om Shaanti Om - Karz http://youtube.com/watch?v=1BQq9yD60Ng
Tumne kissi se pyaar kiya? KIYA! How awesome is this rotating turntable-style stage? I totally want that instead of a treadmill...especially with the Maganlal Dresswalla tribal costume wearers prancing about behind me.

6. Aap ke kamre mein - Yaadon Ki Baraat http://youtube.com/watch?v=crhXCNxDNjw
Tareq and his giant goggles and amazing technicolour dreamcoat! Zeenat and her tiny red dress and red fuck-me boots! Hey you! Young man, will you sing with me?

7. Jeena Bhi Kya Hai Jeena- Kasam Paida Karne Waale Ki http://youtube.com/watch?v=5oZTxlGhwTw
Mithun teaching Salma Agha how to dance? Oh this has got to be good! And while we're at it, lets get her in a skin tight body suit that redefines the term "cameltoe". This movie has some of the best collections of kitsch seen this side of a HongKong Sindhi bathroom..

8. Nainon Mein Sapna - Himmatwala http://youtube.com/watch?v=G0AyyUcTZk8
OMG! I remember dancing in front of the TV on Wednesday nights watching this song on Chitrahaar! The pots..OMG! The pots!

9. Ui Amma Ui Amma - Mawaali http://youtube.com/watch?v=PMk6vPVNCBc
Jeetendra yet again - this time romancing busty Telegu Desam MP Jaya Prada (The other less-expensive kind). Boy, is the energy level high in this song. Figures why his nickname was "Jumping Jack". Puts any Jane Fonda aerobics tape to shame...

10. Zindagi Ki Na Toote - Kranti http://youtube.com/watch?v=qLUYwLgrloA
I would spend all my money to watch Hema Malini writhe and slither her way through this song while Manoj Kumar stares at her constipated-ly (there's a Yahoo emoticon I hope I don't see soon). And yes, children - this is how we won our freedom!

Rufus knows how it is.

People will know when they see this show,
The kind of guy I am.
They'll recognize just what I stand for,
And what I just can't stand.
They'll perceive what I believe in,
and what I know is true.
They'll recognize I'm a one-man guy,
Always was, through & through.

People meditate, hey that's just great,
Trying to find the inner you.
People depend on family and friends,
And other folks to pull them through.
I don't know why I'm a one-man guy,
Or why I'm a one-man show.
But these three cubic feet of bone and blood and meat
Are all I love and know.

Cause I'm a one-man guy in the morning
Same in the afternoon.
One-man guy when the sun goes down,
I whistle me a one-man tune.
One-man guy, one-man guy,
Only kinda guy to be
I'm a one-man guy, I'm a one-man guy
And the one-man guy, is me.

I'm gonna bathe and shave and dress myself,
And eat solo every night.
Unplug the phone, sleep alone,
Stay way out of sight.
Sure it's kinda lonely,
Yeah it's sort of sick.
Being your own one and only
Is a dirty selfish trick.

Cause I'm a one-man guy in the morning
Same in the afternoon.
One-man guy when the sun goes down,
I whistle me a one-man tune.
One-man guy, one-man guy,
Only kinda guy to be
I'm a one-man guy, I'm a one-man guy
And the one-man guy, is me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eo4YivSQMfE

A weekend trip..

I was pretty tired of spending every Saturday at home for the past few weeks...I mean Takeshi's Castle and Mr. Bean re-runs can only get you so far! And I was kinda missing my weekend trips to Rajmachi, Duke's Nose and Sinhagad when I lived in Bombay. So I Googled up weekend getaways from Bangalore and discovered Yercaud, a hill station just outside Salem in Tamil Nadu..about a 5 hour drive out of Bangalore.

Here's a few pictures. Regardez le mist. It was awesome.....damp, spooky and clammy. Very "There-be-dementors-here" weather. Sadly, my "expecto patronum" didn't quite work. The silver Chippendale boy that's my Patronus looked more like a rather portly Santa Claus. Perhaps like Tonks, I too have some issues to sort out.









The cottage where I spent the night. Next time, I'm encouraging someone to come spend it "avec moi".

The view from the cottage. What I would have given to have an arm around me.










Balancing rather precariously on a fence post at 'Ladies Seat' (Not a euphemism for a well-bred woman's behind...more like the Virgin Mary's shrine)