I *heart* Bombay (and well..Boston)

I'm urban..in the way other people are mountain-people or tunafish junkies. I love city life...something about dreary concrete blocks and grumpy people totally gets my juices flowing. Ergo, this will be a blog about me, my two favourite cities (Bombay and Boston), my addiction to Vietnamese coffee and my views on Gregorian chant and it's efficacy in curing some types of tympannic membrane rupture. Enjoy!

Friday, September 02, 2005

Junkie alert..

Crack? Heroin? Charas? Coke? (If I had a paisa for each time I've had to refuse it over the last year, I'd have exactly 2 paise). Nah, I'm talking about junk food. Pani Puri, Jalebis, Grilled Cheese Sandwitches...the like! I am the uncrowned King of the junk food addicts. Why, the first thing I crave for after an orgasm is ...no, not a ciggie, I don't smoke..but French Fries. A medium baggie to be precise; which is why if you ever spotted me at a McDonald's in Bombay, chance are I've just cum. (You may shake my hand, I *do* clean up!)

I realized I'm addicted when I still lived in Boston. When I drove through a snowstorm to a Wendy's for a Junior Cheeseburger and Chicken nuggets. And came outside after my (healthy?) meal to find my car under about a foot of snow. And then dug out..and WENT BACK IN again for some more! And the time when I was on a business trip to California and disocvered In-n-Out burgers. I'd wake up at 2 am and drive down to San Jose for the 24 hour drive-thru and buy myself 2 huge burger meals and then spend the time watching crappy religious TV (OK..free porn) and stuffing myself silly (not to be confused with the free porn please!). And not remembering anything when I woke up the next morning...and then wondering why there were french fry crumbs all over my pillow. Whoa. Bad Fry Experience.

Anyway, now that I'm safely ensconced in the bosom of the Motherland (and like all bosoms, this one is starting to suffocate me now), I find myself substituting Bhel Puri and Pani Puri for the usual burger-shake meals. And frankly they are SO much tastier. And speaking of being frank, how about those Frankies eh? (Tibbs rulez!!). I've been eating at Elco's for the past 6 months . They have a "mineral-water" Pani Puri. Along with a gloved, hair netted Pani Puri Man (Do they even have a name? Pani Puri Wallah? Pani Puri Dude?) Which sorta cuts down on the fun. I mean, if you can't see an oozing scab dip into the *teekha chutney* as he fills up the puri, is it really Pani Puri Bombay-style? I think not.

I'm also loving jalebis. Since I work just above a sweet seller (sweet meat..how revolting the sound!), I seem to be eating jalebis by the quarter-kilo every afternoon. While it hasn't improved my speech (I'm no more sweet-sounding today as I was when I only eat chillies), it certainly has added to the poundage. I've gone from a svelte 140 pounds to a HUGE 144 pounds. My summer wear is now the talk of the town ("My. Those tight linen pants certainly accentuate your flat arse."). Little do they know it used to be a baggy cargo-ish thing I'd wear if I was feeling rather anti-social. Yesterday, I tried the gulab jamuns. So dripping with sugared water, I almost threw up. But I gamely soldiered on. And ordered one more plate.

Anyway, must run now. It's time for my pre-lunch (pre-prandial? Bacchon, this has been Latin-word-of-the-day) Rasgulla fest. I'm off downstairs to get myself a couple. Oh. And a samosa too. Or two. OK three. And then lunch.

Current music:
Libera Me - Interview with the Vampire.

(Erich and me used to make out to this soundtrack. I hate him still. But the soundtrack rocks)

7 Comments:

  • At 11:41 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

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  • At 11:43 PM, Blogger livinghigh said…

    OMG. gulab jamuns. and here i was, fantasing abt them just de other day! had yummy ones at dis sindhi joint at 7 bungalows de other day. thick syrup and all! hehehe.

     
  • At 2:39 AM, Anonymous kestrel said…

    ..i miss the bombay "dabheli"s the most....hot.buttered and crunchy pommerganate grains inside..yummy!!

    I loved the jerk and junk connection:)

     
  • At 10:20 PM, Blogger Adit said…

    "sweet meat" IS a better term darling ;-)
    both the living and non-living varieties are just as satisfying, they come in countless flavours (pun intended)and too much of either leaves you nauseated!...

     
  • At 10:42 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    You are evil.

    Do the names "Spwan of Satan" or "Beelzebub" ring a bell, --how about " A Bat Out of Hell." Well they should because these are your real names.
    You know who you are.
    You are evil. There is no other way someone else could so closely approximate me and my life, or my tastebuds.

    You've been in my head -admit it. How else could you know about the late night In and Out binges, my my ( I'm nervous as i right this) extreme sports attitude toward anything soaked in suger water?
    Or the hours I spend glued to Benny Hinn conventions on the tube just for a laugh.

    I am afraid of you.

    I am Rosemary Woodhouse waking up in the morning covered in scratches realizing her husband had sex with her near comatose body.

    Rosemary: You had sex with me while I was asleep?

    Guy: I couldn't help myself.

    I give up. What do you want from me?
    I'll be in room 2046.

    Duncan Hines

     
  • At 10:01 PM, Blogger Vikster said…

    2046? Is that the Comfort Inn down the street? Or the Hyatt by where you live?

    And that would be where exactly again?

    (WHO are you?? My inner voice straining to get out?)

     
  • At 9:14 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    2046 is a film by that chinese director who did Two for the Road and Chungking Express, I am not even going to spell his name for fear of being slapped.

    2046 is a fictional time and place, a hotel room in the year 2046 where dreams really do come true, esp dreams about love.

    DHines

     

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