Junkie alert..

Crack? Heroin? Charas? Coke? (If I had a paisa for each time I've had to refuse it over the last year, I'd have exactly 2 paise). Nah, I'm talking about junk food. Pani Puri, Jalebis, Grilled Cheese Sandwitches...the like! I am the uncrowned King of the junk food addicts. Why, the first thing I crave for after an orgasm is ...no, not a ciggie, I don't smoke..but French Fries. A medium baggie to be precise; which is why if you ever spotted me at a McDonald's in Bombay, chance are I've just cum. (You may shake my hand, I *do* clean up!)

I realized I'm addicted when I still lived in Boston. When I drove through a snowstorm to a Wendy's for a Junior Cheeseburger and Chicken nuggets. And came outside after my (healthy?) meal to find my car under about a foot of snow. And then dug out..and WENT BACK IN again for some more! And the time when I was on a business trip to California and disocvered In-n-Out burgers. I'd wake up at 2 am and drive down to San Jose for the 24 hour drive-thru and buy myself 2 huge burger meals and then spend the time watching crappy religious TV (OK..free porn) and stuffing myself silly (not to be confused with the free porn please!). And not remembering anything when I woke up the next morning...and then wondering why there were french fry crumbs all over my pillow. Whoa. Bad Fry Experience.

Anyway, now that I'm safely ensconced in the bosom of the Motherland (and like all bosoms, this one is starting to suffocate me now), I find myself substituting Bhel Puri and Pani Puri for the usual burger-shake meals. And frankly they are SO much tastier. And speaking of being frank, how about those Frankies eh? (Tibbs rulez!!). I've been eating at Elco's for the past 6 months . They have a "mineral-water" Pani Puri. Along with a gloved, hair netted Pani Puri Man (Do they even have a name? Pani Puri Wallah? Pani Puri Dude?) Which sorta cuts down on the fun. I mean, if you can't see an oozing scab dip into the *teekha chutney* as he fills up the puri, is it really Pani Puri Bombay-style? I think not.

I'm also loving jalebis. Since I work just above a sweet seller (sweet meat..how revolting the sound!), I seem to be eating jalebis by the quarter-kilo every afternoon. While it hasn't improved my speech (I'm no more sweet-sounding today as I was when I only eat chillies), it certainly has added to the poundage. I've gone from a svelte 140 pounds to a HUGE 144 pounds. My summer wear is now the talk of the town ("My. Those tight linen pants certainly accentuate your flat arse."). Little do they know it used to be a baggy cargo-ish thing I'd wear if I was feeling rather anti-social. Yesterday, I tried the gulab jamuns. So dripping with sugared water, I almost threw up. But I gamely soldiered on. And ordered one more plate.

Anyway, must run now. It's time for my pre-lunch (pre-prandial? Bacchon, this has been Latin-word-of-the-day) Rasgulla fest. I'm off downstairs to get myself a couple. Oh. And a samosa too. Or two. OK three. And then lunch.

Current music:
Libera Me - Interview with the Vampire.

(Erich and me used to make out to this soundtrack. I hate him still. But the soundtrack rocks)