I *heart* Bombay (and well..Boston)

I'm urban..in the way other people are mountain-people or tunafish junkies. I love city life...something about dreary concrete blocks and grumpy people totally gets my juices flowing. Ergo, this will be a blog about me, my two favourite cities (Bombay and Boston), my addiction to Vietnamese coffee and my views on Gregorian chant and it's efficacy in curing some types of tympannic membrane rupture. Enjoy!

Sunday, August 28, 2005

*Excuse* me..

I was going through a couple of old journals the other day and just browsing my list of dates/loves and friends I've accumulated through the years. I saw this episode on "journal keeping" on Oprah once and thought it's a great idea...till today! Anyway, confronted with the evidence of my life so far, I sat down to read and many laughs, a few tears and general indifference later, I made a list (I'm huge on making lists of random shit) of reasons why I'm not with any of these people today...reasons they gave me to justify not having to see me anymore.

Also realized, I'm the person broken up *with*, never really had the pleasure of breaking up with anyone. I can't wait to fuck up my next relationship by waiting for the right time to say "Babe, it's over".

Anyway, here is the list of "excuses" I've been given over the years by dates/one-night stands/boyfriends/friends for not wanting to be around me anymore...(I am *such* a masochist!!!)

1. You're not Asian enough for me. (*throws map of Asia at him and points out India*)
2. You have an opinion on most things. (i didn't know the market for doormat housewives existed in the US....Apparently I'd forgotten my ji huzzoor, aap ki marzi huzzoor dialogues)
3. You're too thin. (it took you 6 months of almost daily bonking before you realized this eh?)
4. You won't let me sleep with other guys. (NO SHIT Sherlock!)
5. I'm too succesful to be with you. (Umm. Why did you thinkI was with you to begin with?)
6. I'm still sleeping with my ex boyfriend. (That would explain the hickeys on your neck I'm sure I didn't leave!)
7. I'm not ready to date yet. ("But I'll sleep with you and everyone else and throw that in your face"...hmm. Yeah makes perfect sense)
8. Your friend is hotter than you are. (*sound of door slamming on his sorry ass*)
9. We don't think alike. (OMG! Stepford wife alert!)
10. You won't "do *it*". (Hell yeah, I won't! Not with you asking me every 2 minutes, I won't!)
11. I lost your phone number. (See, that would make sense IF I hadn't call you like 3 times over the week and talk to you!)
12. You are too intellectual for me. (That's the last time I date a pediatric oncologist I swear!)

These are true. All true. I'll leave you to figure out which of these guys I had a fling with and which ones I atually cared about..enough to be very very upset. And then throw those assumptions away, cause the reasons the ones I cared about gave me were the el crappo, muy stupidoso ones...Not Asian enough indeed! I still fume at that one!

M.'s reason for breaking up was different. And among ALL the reasons I've heard in my life, his was the most real, the most believable. Which is why he'll always be a part of me. Closure is very hard indeed when you have no anger towards the other person to push it forward.

In other news, I was at the Gay Bombay party yesterday. Had a blast. No one asked me to dance, my date made out and then went home with another guy and my cab overcharged me. But I was pleasantly drunk. And in the end, that's all that matters.

Hic.

Current Music:
Time after Time - Cyndi Lauper

(In my head, I'm replaying the dance at Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion)

15 Comments:

  • At 10:06 AM, Anonymous neha said…

    TOO MUCH!!!!!!
    tht was for d list n d bozarre reasons...but must say u write pretty well

     
  • At 12:15 PM, Blogger Toni said…

    I'm usually the one to leave. It sucks being the one left.
    Lists? I have lists for everything.
    M's reason? Replace M with V. Exactly.
    Time After Time? Yep, got that one too :)

     
  • At 12:59 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    the last time i did the vile thing everything i said and did after the act made me look like an asshole, even though i always say that i'm the greatest guy, the best find, but what i said and did after the act i did it myself, words came out of my mouth that had a different meaning to the other person.

    when all the fun was over i simply said.

    me: this did not happen.

    he:what me, i did not happen.

    me:please erase everything that happened last night from your memory, i have.

    and then me takes off very quicky from the scene of the crime.

    Why did i do that. not because i hated him, or the act but because i did not want him to think i was a slut. SO I had to act like i hated myself and what i did...he misundersod why i treated him like shit and i should have found a better way of saying --hey I may play hard to get but on the inside I'm a real freak.

    Somewhere buried in my head are all these old victorian ideals ( put there by my parents) that are impossible to live with even for the cast of FACT of LIFE. i made him think that i was this girl with a lot of morals, a real uppity up-town chick but in reality the moment he dropped his pants i was like butter left out on the counter all night, easy to spread.

    Duncan

     
  • At 1:15 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    How about listening to things like "Kajra Re" sweetheart; it is the most queeniest song I have heard this year :-)!

    Ur blog is great though the continuous and constant references to The Decline and Fall of Roman Empire are...ahem...unsettling...

     
  • At 5:36 AM, Anonymous kestrel said…

    I think its amazing that u have so many reasons and yet dont have the basic one.." i love you but am not in love with you"!!! thats the gretest escaping line i have ever heard ..............

     
  • At 1:58 AM, Blogger Blackheart said…

    hey, dude... Its me, Cody (Rossheart). I am comin for sure, gimme the numbers & such. glad you listening to Queen. :)

     
  • At 7:48 AM, Anonymous abhijit said…

    got a link to ur blog from gb.

    i went through the process of typing and deleting about 37 times in an attempt to come up with a cool enough compliment to get a reply back. guess what. dint.

    anyways, loved it.

    i have always been jealous of people who can write blogs. too intimate dammit. for more on me you can buy the latest Random House publication "Me-the cente of universe"

    fingers itching to type more. will go scratch them (abhijit1507@gmail.com)

     
  • At 9:00 PM, Blogger Adit said…

    hey Vikster :-)

    wanna listen to a real tearjerker? 10cc's "I'm Not In Love"
    even Tori Amos' version is heartbreaking tho a li'l sinister, so it's perfect for once your tear ducts have been squeezed to the limit...

     
  • At 9:52 AM, Anonymous closetalk said…

    mmm.... broke up with -
    1. cuz we were both sleeping around.
    2 broke up with me! waaaa!
    3. cuz i wasnt passionate about him.
    4 broke up with me! waaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!
    5 ALSO broke up with me! sob!

    NOBODY LOVES ME!!!!!

     
  • At 10:51 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Vikster- hurry up and blog again. Duncan, thanks to you Vikram and I are back together. I guess he has given me another chance since I demonstrated my passion for him by taking him to Pizza Hut. We are not breaking up! Thanks Duncan, you are like the Dr. Phil of blogs.

     
  • At 11:03 PM, Blogger Vikster said…

    OK for the comment readers..that post was Meenakshi's..I'm still single (and in the words of my aunt..ready to mingle ..*shudders*)

    Duncan/Anonymous, that was for you.

     
  • At 2:38 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I am the Dr. Phil of blogs! Your problems are my problems. Did I tell you that i was Dear Abby for my high school paper? Except the staff of the paper called the column Dear Tabby cause we did not want to get sued. what a joke, as if we even made a blip on the "woe is me" barometer.

    I'm more Oprah and her best friend Galye if you ask me ( who i think is her sappho lover ) How many times does Gayle come on the show and talk about how she was at Oprah's really late the night before. What's she doing at Oprah's really late and what's she eating?

    Galye can usually be found at Oprah's fridge eating some bananna pudding ( from a recipie by Maya Angelou ) Man, the stories one could have heard at Oprah's fridge.

    Meenakshi --I'm glad to hear that you and Vicky are friends again, what's a gay man without his female partner in crime?


    Duncan Hines

     
  • At 1:46 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    you sound like a loser. sour and bitter.

     
  • At 5:59 AM, Blogger Archster said…

    Missed out on your hilarious writing for quite a while. Oh well, not from now on.

     
  • At 8:42 AM, Blogger Raghu said…

    Can you top this excuse?

    After one whole year of being together I got this one - 'You are like a brother to me.'

    Well, I felt like a bloody pervert who had committed incest.

     

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