Saloning it.
Your's truly succumbed to the notion that I can look even better if I spend 500 Rs. on my hair and had Meenakshi drag me off (well, not really..I was a willing bakra) to a salon. The same salon that fucked up her hairstyle the last time and that has rude eyebrow-shapers. Hah! Looks like I'd pissed her off or something....
Well, after waiting about 30 minutes, we found out that the next salonist/stylist/fag (?) wasn't going to be available for another 45 minutes because he was too busy coloring some macho dude's hair orange (oops..I mean copper-toned gold with platinum highlights). 45 minutes and 2 chicken burgers later, there I was in the hot seat. Literally. Macho dude really warmed up the seat for me.
What would you like this evening?- asks owner of salon..henceforth to be known as overtly highlighted, straightened, over greasy, accented yuppie. (or OHSOGAY). I dunno, I say. Something different. Something new. Something hot.
And then the hard sell. Before I realize, I'd committed myself to jagged hair at the back, weird stylings on the sides..and what can only be charitably described as a "Sadhana fringe" right up front. Sigh. And I'm paying for this mutilation? Anyway, about 20 minutes of having a stylist poking his dick into my shoulders ensued (Anyone wonder why there has to be SO MUCH body contact while you get your hair cut?). At the end of which I came out looking...well...not like me. I was and still am ambivalent. Havne't been able to style my hair the way it looked at the salon that night. And that scares me...Because I actually thought I looked good that night. And the fact that I can't replicate it means I'm NEVER GOING TO LOOK GOOD AGAIN!
See. People tend to judge you based on how you look that day (and it's a crock of shit if you say you don't judge ever...we ALL do). And my bangs don't seem to function around company...which is why I either look like I've just been rescued from the North Atlantic or some Bihari villager lost in the urban wilderness of Bombay. Hair gel ceases to work around me. Hair Spray is but a memory when it touches my hair. Wax? What's that? I'm a hair nightmare.
Icing on the cake? At the rate at which the Bombay air and water are doing their job, I won't have to worry about haircuts in about 10 years...
Try getting a date then!
Current music:
Brovi - Ivan Kupala
Brovi mayi borvi, brovi mayi chyorni...(Eyebrows, my eyebrows, Eyebrows mine so black...)
Well, after waiting about 30 minutes, we found out that the next salonist/stylist/fag (?) wasn't going to be available for another 45 minutes because he was too busy coloring some macho dude's hair orange (oops..I mean copper-toned gold with platinum highlights). 45 minutes and 2 chicken burgers later, there I was in the hot seat. Literally. Macho dude really warmed up the seat for me.
What would you like this evening?- asks owner of salon..henceforth to be known as overtly highlighted, straightened, over greasy, accented yuppie. (or OHSOGAY). I dunno, I say. Something different. Something new. Something hot.
And then the hard sell. Before I realize, I'd committed myself to jagged hair at the back, weird stylings on the sides..and what can only be charitably described as a "Sadhana fringe" right up front. Sigh. And I'm paying for this mutilation? Anyway, about 20 minutes of having a stylist poking his dick into my shoulders ensued (Anyone wonder why there has to be SO MUCH body contact while you get your hair cut?). At the end of which I came out looking...well...not like me. I was and still am ambivalent. Havne't been able to style my hair the way it looked at the salon that night. And that scares me...Because I actually thought I looked good that night. And the fact that I can't replicate it means I'm NEVER GOING TO LOOK GOOD AGAIN!
See. People tend to judge you based on how you look that day (and it's a crock of shit if you say you don't judge ever...we ALL do). And my bangs don't seem to function around company...which is why I either look like I've just been rescued from the North Atlantic or some Bihari villager lost in the urban wilderness of Bombay. Hair gel ceases to work around me. Hair Spray is but a memory when it touches my hair. Wax? What's that? I'm a hair nightmare.
Icing on the cake? At the rate at which the Bombay air and water are doing their job, I won't have to worry about haircuts in about 10 years...
Try getting a date then!
Current music:
Brovi - Ivan Kupala
Brovi mayi borvi, brovi mayi chyorni...(Eyebrows, my eyebrows, Eyebrows mine so black...)
posted by Vikster @ 9:58 PM
9 Comments:
At 1:13 AM,
Anonymous said…
Body contact happens at Morning Star also, yikes!
And bloody hell, its been happening for the last 15 years! Eugh! Now you know why I don't have haircuts for months!
At 10:45 AM,
Anonymous said…
Vikram!
You forgot to mention 2 things:
1.) The scary aunty (or was it an uncle?)coming in for emergency eyebrow threading. Ladies: Can it ever really be that urgent? Only if you look like the top version of Bert and Ernie.
2.) The fact that before you decided on the Sadhana fringe (yes kids, Vikram chose that!)- we were browsing through the gents hairstyles, identifying the Milli Vanillis, Mullets, and Sadhana Fringes for Men.
Ahhh how the truth comes out after a little digging.
For the record- i like Vik's hair just the way it is. A la Bridget Jones.
Meenu
At 10:11 PM,
Anonymous said…
hehehehe.. new hair, eh? must check it out. as for me, i think i'm getting a bit bored now by de buzzed look. sigh.. wat to do?
At 10:32 PM,
Anonymous said…
"cant help it" hir is the best..u can always have the "just out of bed" look...though its a tad bit difficult to undrestand...if u have just got out of bed then how can u go in bed with someone so faast........
At 12:16 PM,
Anonymous said…
One thing I enjoy at my hair dresser's is the poke I get from his big dick...and he knows I enjoy every inch of it..so it grows longer as my hair grows shorter.
And it was just a matter of a few months that he invited me to his den and then he gave me pokes everywhere I asked for.
Did you not enjoy it , see you complaining?
Innocent
At 11:41 PM,
Toni Farley said…
Ok, that hurt. And you know what I mean. But, I'm over it now.
So, when will the photos go public?
At 11:44 PM,
Toni Farley said…
You should try cutting your own hair. I do. It's a challenge, and potentially near-fatal at times, but I've yet to find a stylist hot enough to subject myself to all the personal space violations.
At 3:25 AM,
Vikster said…
I wouldn't mind the dick in the shoulder bit if the hairdresser was remotely attractive.
I get the one eyed (irony?), toothless, alcoholic guys...while the hunky, cute hairdressers head over to the lesser mortals..
At 8:25 AM,
Anonymous said…
You need something that i found a year back... Pomade by American Crew.
http://www.americancrew.com/home.htm
Aanish.
(met you at a gB party in feb, we shared a CAB!)
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