Fashion faux-pas?
Arse cleavage.
Yes people, the fad that's been sweeping the nation the last few months. A fad, which I must confess, I participated in wholeheartedly about a month *after* it became passe. Well, you can't blame me! It took me about that long to figure out I need to get an arse first, then jeans to show it off in and then situations where I could wear said jeans (Somehow, a great-aunt's birthday doesn't seem like the right occasion to flash the family).
Anyway, I now own two "low-rise" jeans which don't quite work the magic the ads promised. Perhaps the fact that I have a normal body kinda spoils the feeling. I mean, low rise jeans need to be held up with sheer willpower, the power of the stick-out arse and prayers to a benevolent God.
While mine are held on by earth-mother hips and bones so sharp you could hang curtains off them. Not even remotely sexy. Well, peeling them off me does lend it a certain tawdriness...one that I try to camouflage as sexy by making the appropriate sexy face (which in my case consists of the look I usually give spotting a particularly delicious tiger prawn in pepper sauce).
I've seen so many fine specimens of this fashion trend in the bylanes of Bandra (one of which made me get on my knees.....and prasie the Lord for creating such beauty). On the other hand, I seem to have missed out on the class where prospective fashionistas are taught about the fact that this trend is best shown off while wearing a short Tshirt. Somehow, the flowing FabIndia kurtis I wear seem to conceal everything I'm supposed to be showing. One more reason I shouldn't be doing this...
So my point is (Do I have one??): Should I, someone who clearly doesn't have a "model" body-type - unless I'm Mr. Sudan-Darfur 2005 - should I attempt at following fashion trends that are clearly meant for guys who spend most of their lives transferring their brain cells into muscle cells?
Just to fit in? I tried the tight Tshirts and tighter jeans, I tried the all-black wardrobe, I even tried the pyjama pants (remember those? Hot in Fall 1993). All I have to show for it is an empty bed and a full closet.
Next fashion stop? Nudism. Prepare yourself for blogs about flat arses and tiny weenies.
Current music:
Time after Time - Cyndi Lauper
Yes people, the fad that's been sweeping the nation the last few months. A fad, which I must confess, I participated in wholeheartedly about a month *after* it became passe. Well, you can't blame me! It took me about that long to figure out I need to get an arse first, then jeans to show it off in and then situations where I could wear said jeans (Somehow, a great-aunt's birthday doesn't seem like the right occasion to flash the family).
Anyway, I now own two "low-rise" jeans which don't quite work the magic the ads promised. Perhaps the fact that I have a normal body kinda spoils the feeling. I mean, low rise jeans need to be held up with sheer willpower, the power of the stick-out arse and prayers to a benevolent God.
While mine are held on by earth-mother hips and bones so sharp you could hang curtains off them. Not even remotely sexy. Well, peeling them off me does lend it a certain tawdriness...one that I try to camouflage as sexy by making the appropriate sexy face (which in my case consists of the look I usually give spotting a particularly delicious tiger prawn in pepper sauce).
I've seen so many fine specimens of this fashion trend in the bylanes of Bandra (one of which made me get on my knees.....and prasie the Lord for creating such beauty). On the other hand, I seem to have missed out on the class where prospective fashionistas are taught about the fact that this trend is best shown off while wearing a short Tshirt. Somehow, the flowing FabIndia kurtis I wear seem to conceal everything I'm supposed to be showing. One more reason I shouldn't be doing this...
So my point is (Do I have one??): Should I, someone who clearly doesn't have a "model" body-type - unless I'm Mr. Sudan-Darfur 2005 - should I attempt at following fashion trends that are clearly meant for guys who spend most of their lives transferring their brain cells into muscle cells?
Just to fit in? I tried the tight Tshirts and tighter jeans, I tried the all-black wardrobe, I even tried the pyjama pants (remember those? Hot in Fall 1993). All I have to show for it is an empty bed and a full closet.
Next fashion stop? Nudism. Prepare yourself for blogs about flat arses and tiny weenies.
Current music:
Time after Time - Cyndi Lauper
posted by Vikster @ 2:19 AM
3 Comments:
At 9:46 PM,
Anonymous said…
Yeah, time to go nudist Vik! I know exactly who you can contact for more information on the same :-)
For the record, I am tired of seeing low-strung jeans, and I am kinda surprised that they aren't out of fashion already.
At 7:56 AM,
Anonymous said…
hey;-) hmmm... well, as gorgeous as de hips are, i'm sure some better fitting jeans wud be more appropriate! lol
but then.. the tiger prawn look may work for ANYTHING! ;-)
At 10:51 AM,
Anonymous said…
I feel your pain. With my part-Arab hips, and ex-kickboxer thighs, I'm lucky if I can get a pair of low-rise anything up over my knees. Bastards. They should add "For 4% body fat only" tags to those things.
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