I *heart* Bombay (and well..Boston)

I'm urban..in the way other people are mountain-people or tunafish junkies. I love city life...something about dreary concrete blocks and grumpy people totally gets my juices flowing. Ergo, this will be a blog about me, my two favourite cities (Bombay and Boston), my addiction to Vietnamese coffee and my views on Gregorian chant and it's efficacy in curing some types of tympannic membrane rupture. Enjoy!

Friday, May 20, 2005

Yo' Mama is so..

I'm in a very silly mood today. I've been giggling like a 9 year old girl who's discovering her uncle's finger hair tickles her when he lifts up her shirt...

So I thought I'd record the tasteless jokes that make up my reperetoire at parties and bars when I meet new people...if they don't run away from me first that is. These are the jokes that require me to think of some sad incident in my past to be able to tell with a straight face. OMG, did I just say straight face? Oy.

Here goes: (If you're offended, let me know. I want to be your friend.)
1. Yo' mama is so fat..every time she turns around she is a year older.

2. Yo' mama's so fat I had to roll over TWICE just to get off her...

3. You so ugly that when you were born the doctor took one look at you and slapped yo' mama

4. Yo' mama is like like a shot gun, one cock and she's ready to blow.

5. Yo' mama is so ugly that when we are makin'sweet love I have to put a paper bag over her head and then another on mine in case her's falls off..

6. Yo' mama so stupid when the weather man said it's going to be chilly outside, she goes outside with a bowl

7. Yo' mama's so stupid she got stabbed in a shoot out.

8. Yo' mama's so fat that when she crossed in front of the TV, I missed THREE EPISODES!

9. Yo' mama's so fat that she's on both sides of the family..

10. And finally...let's get off yo' mama, cause I just off yours.........

Ahh, the old yo' mama jokes. Can spend a whole day just rattling them off (just like I did a few days ago with Meenakshi over a cup of coffee). Wonder if that was the day we saw Sushmita Sen and her giant boobs. Hey! That could be a new mini-series. Where Sushmita Sen battles crime with her giant boobs..Boobarella!

Anyway, in conclusion (ladies and jellyspoons..as my fav comic Eddie Izzard says), I leave you with my absolutely favourite joke ever. If you don't get it, please email me. I'd like to meet you.

"So this baby seal walks into a club...."


Random website:
http://www.nudiejeans.com/campaign/fitguide/fitguide.php
Awesome jeans website...just click on the guy's jeans and they model it for you. I have/can spend hours here..if only I had the 200$ to buy a pair!

Current music:
Mama Mia - Abba

5 Comments:

  • At 2:05 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    great!! Yo momma so poor when I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush!

    great entry..
    write sooner viks...
    kestrel

     
  • At 4:14 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    yo mama so broke- she thought a quarter back was a refund!!

    Thanks for the shout out Vik- for the record yo mama has a very nice figure.

    MUAH,
    Meenu

     
  • At 12:08 AM, Blogger livinghigh said…

    umm.... can i be honest and say dat i think de yo mama jokes are quite... yukky. yes, vik, i know u promised to mee anybody who gets offended, but since i don't fall into DAT categor, i'll take a raincheck! ;-)

    PS: sush DOES not have giant boobs: hello!!!

    PPS: the litle beard actually looks quite nice on u ;-)

     
  • At 11:40 PM, Anonymous Irshad said…

    Ah, now the 9-year old joke thing and baby seal joke was ultra offensive, but I'm still laughing out loud!

     
  • At 7:30 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    thats was some funny shit. Yo'mama jokes never get old.

     

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