I *heart* Bombay (and well..Boston)

I'm urban..in the way other people are mountain-people or tunafish junkies. I love city life...something about dreary concrete blocks and grumpy people totally gets my juices flowing. Ergo, this will be a blog about me, my two favourite cities (Bombay and Boston), my addiction to Vietnamese coffee and my views on Gregorian chant and it's efficacy in curing some types of tympannic membrane rupture. Enjoy!

Friday, August 19, 2005

Judge away! (Part 2)

Thank you to all who liked the previous observations on the habits of that elusive animal Gaius Boius Indicus...all 2 of you.


So here's to you both...you're the only reason I go to the Gay Bombay parties..to carry out my research so that you both can learn to identify those that live amongst us (and prepare the appropriate ammo if one of the chooses to leave his group and attack you).

To continue:
Species: Gaius Bois Indicus

Sub Species: (contd.) I had to attend 2 more parties to identify these. These are a little more elusive compared to the 4 major sub species. I had to dress like one of them to be able to get close enough to research behaviour.

4. Activist boi/grrl/transgendered/queer person - Gaius Indicus Mulletii
Primarily identified by angry look on face as society denies him the right to shag whoever he meets on the next local train. Also only seen at a party when it follows a rally or an *action meeting* (OK. Not that kind of action..reserve that for the Call Center Bois). Plumage includes scruffy Tshirt, long hair and man-boobs.
Will answer to Jayprakash, Iqbal or Lenin.

5. Professional boi - Gaius Gayforpayus Indicus
Spotted along edge of dancefloor. Habits include smiling mysteriously, licking lips and touching self. Will not exhibit rest of plumage unless money changes hands. Doubles as Call Center Boi sometimes...but Gaius Gayforpayus Indicus is only lured out of his world when the new Nokia cellphone (price Rs. 25000) is launched. Is friends with all, but is especially friendly to Gaius Moneyus Bags Indicus.
Responds to Joe, Alex or Andy.

6. White Firang boi - Gaius Gettinglaidus Touristii
The only subspecies of genus Gaius Boius that is guarenteed a mate at the end of the evening. Dance or no dance. These are unusual in that a scruffy Tshirt and baggy jeans and sandals coupled with pasty white skin and tousled hair usually draw the biggest stares and glances. White Firang Bois are the particular favourite of the Middle Class Suburb Boi (Gaius Commuterus Trainii).
Respond to Claude, Chris or Dave.

7. Model boi - Gaius Musclemarius Indicus Snootii
Surrounded by members of Gaius Malabar Indicus Gujju and the occasional Gaius Gettinglaidus Touristii, these bois revel in their cleavage showing Tshirts and tight jeans showing off the latest thong stylings. Their mating dance is unusual in that they are pre-occupied with looking at themselves in a mirror. A mate has already however been chosen before the evening begins. It usually is another member of the same subspecies or occasionally is a South Bombay Boi (Gaius Malabar Indicus Gujju).
Respond to Shoaib, Ali or Amar.

Part 3 (when I get off my lovely round ass to write it) will deal with the travails of yours truly as he seeks a date from the throngs of Gaius Boius Indicii around. A date who's intelligent enough to debate politics and urban planning while being silly enough to giggle uncontrollably at badly dressed people.

Current Music:
Inhi Logon Ne - Paakeezah

(Seems apt somehow..)


  • At 7:22 AM, Blogger livinghigh said…

    mmmm... how strange! i had commented on de earlier one (judge part one), but it never showed! think something's fucked up with de system,?

    anyway.. had asked u to comment on which u thought i fit into! ;-)

    and secondly.. sniff... I never had a Touristiii... now, aint dat SAD?! :(

  • At 1:42 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    ----don't forget the homo who likes to sit around his empty apartment and pack imaginary lunches for the children he does not have and will never carry to term.
    What if he also likes to work out on the nordic track in his best gal pal's heels?
    he's not nellie he just likes the way his feet looked all squished into those pumps.
    Can this guy be saved?
    It might be safe to just call this one crazy, but then why give up on him if he can make a great peanut butter and jelly sandwich?

  • At 11:35 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I think I want to marry you!

  • At 1:01 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    hell you're good!!


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