Booking it..
Headed over to the Strand book sale at Juhu yesterday with my partner-in-crime Meenakshi to replenish my bedside reading material (Yep. This is what yours truly is reduced to doing in bed. Reading.) After the rather embaressing time at the last sale when I found out I'd shopped for about 10 grand worth more than I actually had budgeted for, this time I broke the piggy-bank (It *was* a nice plump Holstein instead of your typical pink pig. I am ever the religious Hindu boy) and headed down with a rather large budget of 8,000Rs.
So after about 30 minutes, we pull up right next to Amitabh's bungalow. After doing our "sashtang namaskars" and "Oye Bubblies" to Abhishek (who we knew was ensconced in that fortress probably wanking off to gay porn - in my head, or planning his wedding sherwani - in Meenakshi's head), we walked over to the school auditorium where the sale was.
I immediately went looking for good history bargains while Meenakshi hung out at the Indian author section. I was majorly disappointed by the selection/choice this time. Apparently, these big bookshop guys came by and picked everything remotely interesting the first day itself! Bastards!
We spotted several schoolkids (can't be more than 10 years old) coming through and rushing in groups to the "Illustrated Joys of Sex" section where they spent some fun times pointing stuff out to each other ("Arre! yeh dekh na! Wow!"). I waited till they left and headed over myself ("Arre! How do I do that! Wow"). These straight couples have so many positions they can try.... mucho envious. I found 2 homo-friendly books. One was on Tackling Homophobia (Boring!) and the other was Erotic Lesbian Literature ("Cliterature" as I like to call it). Neither of which saw me reach out to grab it. On the other hand, there was this very cute architect (OK. I was projecting) browsing through the art books. I stuck around leafing through Mughal Patterns In Central Indian Textiles just so I could see his intense look as he browsed the art of Raphael. Very intense. I could almost see him disapproving of my toast at our wedding reception. (Well, no harm in planning ahead I always say!)
Anyway, I had to tear myself away from Mr. IntenseArchitectGuy because I spotted the James Mitchener section and set out to look for the 2 books I still don't have. And of course with my luck, I find out that both were bought by someone just a few hours ago. Dejected, I trudged over to the classics section and splurged 1255Rs on Volumes 4,5 and 6 of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire (To match my Vols. 1,2 and 3). I will be quoting Romanus Lecapanus and Zoe Porpherogenitus for the rest of the month methinks. Probably a good thing to do is stay away from me unless you want to hear how Procopius' histories of Justinian and Theodora are so much more entertaining than Anna Comnena's panygeric to her dad (OK. So she didn't call him Dad.)
I ended the trip with a disappointing 2.5 Grand spent. Books I bought? Well, besides Gibbon's "Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire", I also bought "Equator", the "Mammoth book of Historical Whodunits", an analysis of how the Western World views Scherzade and Asterix and the Goths.
Bedroom reading tonight? An analysis of how St. Simeon Stylites brought about a revival of Christianity in Antioch.
Positively rivetting.
Someone save me from myself. (Anonymous?)
Current music:
Walking on the Sun - Smashmouth
So after about 30 minutes, we pull up right next to Amitabh's bungalow. After doing our "sashtang namaskars" and "Oye Bubblies" to Abhishek (who we knew was ensconced in that fortress probably wanking off to gay porn - in my head, or planning his wedding sherwani - in Meenakshi's head), we walked over to the school auditorium where the sale was.
I immediately went looking for good history bargains while Meenakshi hung out at the Indian author section. I was majorly disappointed by the selection/choice this time. Apparently, these big bookshop guys came by and picked everything remotely interesting the first day itself! Bastards!
We spotted several schoolkids (can't be more than 10 years old) coming through and rushing in groups to the "Illustrated Joys of Sex" section where they spent some fun times pointing stuff out to each other ("Arre! yeh dekh na! Wow!"). I waited till they left and headed over myself ("Arre! How do I do that! Wow"). These straight couples have so many positions they can try.... mucho envious. I found 2 homo-friendly books. One was on Tackling Homophobia (Boring!) and the other was Erotic Lesbian Literature ("Cliterature" as I like to call it). Neither of which saw me reach out to grab it. On the other hand, there was this very cute architect (OK. I was projecting) browsing through the art books. I stuck around leafing through Mughal Patterns In Central Indian Textiles just so I could see his intense look as he browsed the art of Raphael. Very intense. I could almost see him disapproving of my toast at our wedding reception. (Well, no harm in planning ahead I always say!)
Anyway, I had to tear myself away from Mr. IntenseArchitectGuy because I spotted the James Mitchener section and set out to look for the 2 books I still don't have. And of course with my luck, I find out that both were bought by someone just a few hours ago. Dejected, I trudged over to the classics section and splurged 1255Rs on Volumes 4,5 and 6 of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire (To match my Vols. 1,2 and 3). I will be quoting Romanus Lecapanus and Zoe Porpherogenitus for the rest of the month methinks. Probably a good thing to do is stay away from me unless you want to hear how Procopius' histories of Justinian and Theodora are so much more entertaining than Anna Comnena's panygeric to her dad (OK. So she didn't call him Dad.)
I ended the trip with a disappointing 2.5 Grand spent. Books I bought? Well, besides Gibbon's "Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire", I also bought "Equator", the "Mammoth book of Historical Whodunits", an analysis of how the Western World views Scherzade and Asterix and the Goths.
Bedroom reading tonight? An analysis of how St. Simeon Stylites brought about a revival of Christianity in Antioch.
Positively rivetting.
Someone save me from myself. (Anonymous?)
Current music:
Walking on the Sun - Smashmouth
posted by Vikster @ 11:44 PM
8 Comments:
At 2:04 AM,
Anonymous said…
i begin to enjoy your angsty posts vik :))
At 8:18 AM,
livinghigh said…
strand book sale? weren't u late for dat one?
ummmmm....
and yes, the abhishek worship.. i understand de rituals.
At 11:14 AM,
Anonymous said…
No matter how many books I read about the Romans and Greeks I find that I can't teleport myself into a Roman Bath --it just won't happen.
Man, was I born at the wrong era or what?
I always say that, but with my luck, if I was around back then, i'd probably end up roasting inside a giant pig and then be served on a Roman buffet and not the ass buffet --which i might add, I still can't find enough reading material about.
So can i suggest some real summer reading for you and Meenakshi ( its funny that your best friend's name is MEENAKSHI cause Meenakshi is code for an Indian female who is on the verge of a nervous breakdown)
anyway on with the books, i mean literature. There are so many great writers that have been overlooked by the world. Here are a few of them:
Judith Krantz, in her infamous page turner, Scruples, weaves an eye opening social commentary that dares to link brick a' brac (antiques) to the tumultous lives of skanky hollywood sex addicts. Lindsey Wagner, aka Bionic Woman, led the star studded cast in the tv mini series based on the book.
Don't forget Blubber by Judy Blume. The scene when the two female leads get punished and are forced to rake leaves without a bathroom break is gut wrenching --more so than anything in the Deer Hunter. I mean these poor girls end up peeing all over themselves. Plus I could relate to Tracy Wu, one of the first
non white girls to grace the pages of books for Young Readers. Though I don't think I can call her oriental anymore.
What homo could pass up LACE, by Shirly Concoran(sp?)? this gut wrenching book about family values, culminates in a scene where a
sex-upped, drug filled, innocent teenage heroine politely asks three used up hookers/socialites "which one of you bitches is my mother." You will get goosebumps.
I don't know what the people at Pulitzer were doing that year but I can't belive they let this book get away without an award. I'm telling you my life changed the moment i saw Phobey Cates, channel the hooker inside her and play the girl on a hunt for her "pussy of origin" in the tv show based on the book.
And if I wasn't gay enough by the end of that miniseries, then shit i hit the homo motherload with FLOWERS IN THE ATTIC by V.C. Andrews. this book is about what i suspected happened in many white families in the deep south --incest and the addition of dolly madison powdered donuts as a viable meal replacment.
Anyway, a bunch of poor white trash kids get locked up in an atttic and are forced to eat donuts covered in arsenic cause their grandma wants them all dead. I could not put the damn book down, forget the ANN RAND that i had to read for class, VC ANDREWS had me hooked, this book was investigative journalism of the highest order. And here I was thinking white kids in the deep south had it easy. Boy was I wrong. Of course all the real horror is in those icky moments when the two older siblings, brother and sister, turn on each other with sexual lust cause there really isn't anything else to do when you're locked up 24/7 in an Gothic Mansion and hitting puberty hard. Straight sex is gross, straight sex with your sister is ohhh, i think i'm about to lose my Multi Grain with Dates, Berrys and Nuts cereal all over my self ---excuse me.
--yours truly
At 2:28 PM,
Toni Farley said…
Next time I can't sleep, you can tell me all about the history stuff and the Roman conquerings and the religious wars and ... zzzzzz
Anon! I can't believe you read VC Andrews. Just the first one? I read the entire series, 4-5 books when I was 10 or so. Horrifying! I cannot look at a powered donut without thinking of poor Cory dying. And the incest! The siblings ended up living as a married couple in the end. Eeesh.
Hollywood attempted a movie of the first one, "Flowers in the Attic". They did a perfectly miserable job of it. I can even remember the rest of the names after all these years:
Petals on the Wind
If There by Thorns
Seeds of Yesterday
I think there was a 5th (or maybe it was the 4th), which was actually written by someone else, after Andrews death. However, it supposedly follows some notes she had written about it.
My question is. Where the hell were my parents when I was reading this crap =(
At 10:19 PM,
Vikster said…
Judith Krantz and Judy Bloome?
Anon, you been following me through airports or wot? They are required airplane reading (though I disguise them by holding a copy of the Wall Street journal over it).
How about Danielle Steele. I think I got a woodie when I was younger reading the gay love scene in "Family Album"
At 10:46 PM,
Anonymous said…
Anonymous,
Please don't reveal yourself to Vikram. He is mean to MEENAKSHI (I am not on the verge of a nervous breakdown). He doesn't take my calls anymore.
PS. I thought "Are you there God, its me Margaret" was way more interesting, and slightly tittilating no?!
At 4:21 PM,
Anonymous said…
to Toni-
I read Petal's On The Wind on the bus --usually on the way home from school. Sometimes at home too, right on the couch during prime time --my parents were just happy i was reading.
Did i do a book reports on these books? no! -- i saved the book reports for Encyclopedia Brown ( my personal hero) and How to Eat Fried Worms, ever read Bunicula -- about the vampire rabbit? Now there's a flashback.
Petals On the Wind was actually the first book in the series i picked up, and boy was it a page turner --it really gave me a peek into the american dream: a home, a family, a happy blond blue eyed couple. I did go back to the first book ( Flowers) but skipped the rest. There's only so much brother sister loving this desi can take if you know what i mean.
I did read My Sweet Audrina. Remember that one --that too was about a caged bird who takes flight at the end. Too bad V.C is dead --if she were here she'd have a lot of explaining to do. Even though she's dead to this day they are still using her name to sell books.
I feel for this trick once way back-- I picked up a book with a whole new family with secrets on the cover, you know those really great covers were all you see is the name of the book and a terrified female face though a hole that's punched out, and then when you turn the cover you see the girl now surrounded by her creepy family, they don't do these covers anymore.
Once I actually saw VC ANDREWS in a small post death peice on her and she seemed to be a mixture of Dame Barbra Cartland and the midget woman from poltergiest, Tangina ( i should get an award for remembering that).
Vickster-
Yes, i have been known to follow men around airports, malls, and okay --i like to follow men around period --esp guys who wear those thick black nerd glasses. I have this thing for guys in thick black superman glasses --the bigger, the better, you can pretty much call them birth control glasses cause when you 'em no one wants to come near you, but i loves me a nerdy cute guy --like RYAN ONEIL in What's Up Doc, OY! the scene where BABS knocks him over and all his clothes rip off and he's just in his boxers with the bow tie and glasses with the thick black frames. That's better than three ZEENAT AMAN movies in a row -- but i digress.
i can't believe i actually got you to admit you read Danielle Steele.
I totally cracked up. that's why you have to hit those book sales, buy books and then put them away in case of emergencies, like being stranded in an airport on your way to Boston.
Thanks for letting me crash your BLOG and write on and on and on --like an Antonioni movie without an ending in sight, hopefully we won't be like the people in them, making promises to meet and then just getting bogged down with the realization about how small we are in a big, cruel and heartless world. Of course, its better to have this epiphany when you're a hot italian couple dressed in the best ready to wear ---I get to be Alain DeLeon and you can be Monica Vitti.
And please call Meenakshi, she seems like such a nice girl. You don't want to lose touch with the real girls in your life, without them we'd all be a bunch of boring guys.
yours truly
At 6:25 PM,
Anonymous said…
okay --last post for a long spell i promise.
i'm also digging this country song
about some girl who elopes with her boyfriend and her mother is singing about how the kid just took off and "left the suds in the bucket and the wash out on the line." what a crack up --this is a great country song.
some day i want to write a country song too. It's going to be about me waiting at an Oklahoma truck stop, defrosting my microwave burrito and waiting for some trucker i'm in love with to stop and take a piss break.
i feel a melody coming through right now so i've got to go.
Duncan Hines
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