Party on Wayne!

Well, I'm sitting down in one place after a very very hectic week of painting the town red (or in my case, Prussian blue - my favourite colour). This was my life this week - party, club, Diwali, club, club, club, club. And this is my wallet this Sunday afternoon....empty. And on a Sunday which I planned on spending at Strand looking for those 2 elusive James Mitchener books I need to complete my collection..Grr! Looks like I'll have to dip into the children's college fund to satisfy my retail urges today! Anyway, I've about almost given up on kids...just realized I'll need a faithful loving boyfriend first..and one knows that doesn't exist. Not in Bombay anyway.

"Where have you been going?" I hear the proles ask. Well, mostly Seijo. The music rocks, the crowd's my age or thereabouts, the women are incredibly attractive, the smoke quotient is very low and the drinks are fabu. Tried Enigma one night. Danced the night away (literally, it was dawn when I left), was sorta buzzed the whole next day (You know that weird feeling when you think you're drunk during the day...and you are?). The music was sorta dancy in a Bollywood Punju-Shunju way and the martinis did wonders for my ability to dance. Well, to dance without caring what anyone thought of me anyway.

There was a Gay Bombay party on Friday but since I'm not going there anymore, I went to Shooters with my friend and his girlfriend instead. "Why are you not going to GB anymore?" I hear the fabulous people of Bombay ask. Well, it's cause I'm tired of feeling like a non-entity. I'm exhausted trying to look sexy and interested. I'm tired of caring about what people think of me. I'm weary of trying on 3 pairs of jeans just to find one where it looks like I have an arse worth talking to. And lastly, I'm sick of being ignored - by friends, foes and prospective friends/foes alike. Thought long and hard about it and realized it was exactly one year since I started going to the parties. And also realized that NOTHING ever came outta me going there. Yeah, so I could dance to music that I wouldn't be listening to anyway and I could watch guys kissing on the dancefloor.

But I get that at ANY other club in Bombay! Why would I want to go somewhere where my chances of meeting interesting gay people is even smaller than at an ostensible *straight* club? Plus, flirting with straight men and women is SO much more fun. I've had a blast doing that all last week. It's less complicated cause everyone knows nothing will ever come out of it...unlike the same with gay men where you have to watch what you say and do cause you just might end up taking him home..

It gets patronizing too though. But it's the type that I can live with. I've had one straight male friend flirt right back and then say "It's great that we can talk because I'm OK with your type of people". Had a female friend ask me to dance close because "I feel safe with you dancing this close. I could never do this with the other guys". Another female friend asks me to go out with her and then reminds me that "My boyfriend won't mind. He knows your type". Sometimes it's easy to forget I'm a man just because I'm gay.

Patronizing attitudes from straight people who're "OK" with my lifestyle and expect me to be thankful, Attitude from gay men who don't wanna think about tommorrow and wanna just live in the present.

I just can't win, can I?

Till then, I sip my martini, help my straight men friends out with chatting up women, help my female straight friends when they need a man to dance with/lug around stuff/shop and my gay friends? Well, is there such a thing?

*prepares for barrage of comments about me being a self-loathing gay man*

I'm out, happy with being gay and comfortable in my skin. If only I knew more people here that were the same.

Current Music:
Woo Hoo - The 5 6 7 8's (Kill Bill Soundtrack)

This is one of my favourite movies in the last 5 years. Watched it about 10 times now and plan on watching it even more..