I *heart* Bombay (and well..Boston)

I'm urban..in the way other people are mountain-people or tunafish junkies. I love city life...something about dreary concrete blocks and grumpy people totally gets my juices flowing. Ergo, this will be a blog about me, my two favourite cities (Bombay and Boston), my addiction to Vietnamese coffee and my views on Gregorian chant and it's efficacy in curing some types of tympannic membrane rupture. Enjoy!

Sunday, November 06, 2005

Party on Wayne!

Well, I'm sitting down in one place after a very very hectic week of painting the town red (or in my case, Prussian blue - my favourite colour). This was my life this week - party, club, Diwali, club, club, club, club. And this is my wallet this Sunday afternoon....empty. And on a Sunday which I planned on spending at Strand looking for those 2 elusive James Mitchener books I need to complete my collection..Grr! Looks like I'll have to dip into the children's college fund to satisfy my retail urges today! Anyway, I've about almost given up on kids...just realized I'll need a faithful loving boyfriend first..and one knows that doesn't exist. Not in Bombay anyway.

"Where have you been going?" I hear the proles ask. Well, mostly Seijo. The music rocks, the crowd's my age or thereabouts, the women are incredibly attractive, the smoke quotient is very low and the drinks are fabu. Tried Enigma one night. Danced the night away (literally, it was dawn when I left), was sorta buzzed the whole next day (You know that weird feeling when you think you're drunk during the day...and you are?). The music was sorta dancy in a Bollywood Punju-Shunju way and the martinis did wonders for my ability to dance. Well, to dance without caring what anyone thought of me anyway.

There was a Gay Bombay party on Friday but since I'm not going there anymore, I went to Shooters with my friend and his girlfriend instead. "Why are you not going to GB anymore?" I hear the fabulous people of Bombay ask. Well, it's cause I'm tired of feeling like a non-entity. I'm exhausted trying to look sexy and interested. I'm tired of caring about what people think of me. I'm weary of trying on 3 pairs of jeans just to find one where it looks like I have an arse worth talking to. And lastly, I'm sick of being ignored - by friends, foes and prospective friends/foes alike. Thought long and hard about it and realized it was exactly one year since I started going to the parties. And also realized that NOTHING ever came outta me going there. Yeah, so I could dance to music that I wouldn't be listening to anyway and I could watch guys kissing on the dancefloor.

But I get that at ANY other club in Bombay! Why would I want to go somewhere where my chances of meeting interesting gay people is even smaller than at an ostensible *straight* club? Plus, flirting with straight men and women is SO much more fun. I've had a blast doing that all last week. It's less complicated cause everyone knows nothing will ever come out of it...unlike the same with gay men where you have to watch what you say and do cause you just might end up taking him home..

It gets patronizing too though. But it's the type that I can live with. I've had one straight male friend flirt right back and then say "It's great that we can talk because I'm OK with your type of people". Had a female friend ask me to dance close because "I feel safe with you dancing this close. I could never do this with the other guys". Another female friend asks me to go out with her and then reminds me that "My boyfriend won't mind. He knows your type". Sometimes it's easy to forget I'm a man just because I'm gay.

Patronizing attitudes from straight people who're "OK" with my lifestyle and expect me to be thankful, Attitude from gay men who don't wanna think about tommorrow and wanna just live in the present.

I just can't win, can I?

Till then, I sip my martini, help my straight men friends out with chatting up women, help my female straight friends when they need a man to dance with/lug around stuff/shop and my gay friends? Well, is there such a thing?

*prepares for barrage of comments about me being a self-loathing gay man*

I'm out, happy with being gay and comfortable in my skin. If only I knew more people here that were the same.

Current Music:
Woo Hoo - The 5 6 7 8's (Kill Bill Soundtrack)

This is one of my favourite movies in the last 5 years. Watched it about 10 times now and plan on watching it even more..

17 Comments:

  • At 9:27 AM, Blogger F-cubed said…

    Completely agree with you about the gb party. Not merely because of the fish out of water feeling but also because I felt the music really SUCKS! And to be told that "You should come before 10, thats when they play the English music is not a situation that I accept.

    At some level I feel more and more attracted to the Voodos Gay Scene. They are honest about the fact that its all about lust and momentary passion(and the music is much better).

     
  • At 10:44 AM, Anonymous Sanjay said…

    Self loathing man? Hardly. Specially for someone who knows what near perfection is. Remember how you carefully scanned all your pictures before finally deciding on the one that would be perfect for your profile? Remember how you read the draft so carefully to make sure it came out just perfect? Remember how you silently take great pride knowing the fact that yours is probably one of the better blogs around?

    No, you are not a self loathing gay man. You know that the stuff you say, books that you read and everything that you do are just small steps towards that one goal you cherish so much. You are one who knows what he should be at every moment. And you will know it when the right moment arrives. And you know it has to arrive sooner or later. Every one of your actions is just bringing that moment closer to you. You know it will arrive. You know its just a matter of time.

    Just don't stop believing.

     
  • At 11:06 AM, Blogger a guppie said…

    gb parties : I know the music sucks most of the time, I know I can go to a str8 place and have a good time, I know that it is all about one night stands. It seems as if the Lowest Common denominatior logic which gives us the shitty newspapers, movies, tv & radio programming etc also seem to guide the decisioning for the parties. But it is atleast a space in which I can dance without a care and have fun with some of my gay friends (vik I am very hurt by your allusion).

     
  • At 12:16 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    good for you Vik for calling people out on their heteronormativity--lots of love, meghana

     
  • At 8:35 PM, Blogger Vikster said…

    FCubed: Yeah! What's the deal with English music before 10 pm? I'm not even out of my pyjamas then!
    As for Voodoo's, I dunno. Only been there twice. Had a blast once, terrible time the next time. So no comments.

    Sanjay: I feel like you know me LOL!
    Well, sometimes one needs to compromise (which a lot of people are telling me nowadays). However, as you know, I've tasted perfection with M. and now it's hard to settle for anything less...

    Guppie: You don't need to be hurt by any insinuation. You know EXACTLY who I am talking about..(not you).

    Megs: I was talking to Guppie about the patronizing feel I get around str8 people sometimes...it is incredibly weird how (even when they're being supportive) there's an implied insult in there somewhere..or perhaps I'm just getting a very thin skin...

     
  • At 10:56 PM, Blogger F-cubed said…

    Talk about a thin skin!

    Even if the barb was not intended to hurt obviously you were concerned enough to edit it out of your blog.

    And here I was thinking that a blog was about being true to oneself - AGAINST ALL ODDS!!

    Viraf

     
  • At 1:28 AM, Anonymous kestrel said…

    ..make straight friends..dont tell them you are gay...then let them "know" you are gay...but dont talk about it...they would understand..and u are such a wonderful person that they would just be normal....it works...Gay people are wonderfull! but straight friends are good to have ....

     
  • At 1:34 AM, Blogger Vijayeta said…

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

     
  • At 1:37 AM, Blogger Vijayeta said…

    Self-loathing? You? No bloody way! I agree with Sanjay and what he says. You're far far better than most other men i meet everyday. You saw a sampler the other day, didnt you? With *B* being a glorious exception ;)And yr tattoo will definitely make u look hotter.
    On the other hand, i might be in a self-loathing phase rt now! I mean, i'm talking about my non-existent love life on a street corner with you and these lovely fireworks start to happen. What on earth is THAT supposed to mean!!????

     
  • At 4:00 AM, Blogger shyam said…

    Hmm.. first time commenting here.. been an occasional lurker.. interesting viewpoints...

    It is understandable to give into the urge to look even when you know things are not quite there, the killer feature called hope, hard to step away from it, innit?

    Personally, I don't care much about sexual orientation when it comes to people I'd like to hang out with. I find all types to be exceptionally boring these days and in any case sex is going to be defined in the future as something that two or more more people have together. Gender will be reduced to an excuse to stick to your favourite legacy ideology/belief/paranoia.

    Only if there was a sex pill, after swallowing which you feel perfectly content and happy and the urge is taken care of, the world would be so much nicer a place to live in and we could all happily connect on a cerebral/emotional level. Bliss.

     
  • At 5:34 AM, Anonymous closetalk said…

    ahem, ahem, ahem... and am i the target of this 'ignoring frnds at GB' jibe???? ;-) anyway, i've been having a totally wild time the last few parties.. totally dancing and not giving a shit abt who looks and who doesn't. lets face it: GB's NOT de best place to meet guys, so just chillax, and dance with ure pals and hit on a coupla cuties if u have de guts.. most times, i don't.

    by de way, de party's on this saturday. BE there, twinkle toes! ;-)

     
  • At 12:16 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    hey where seijo vik ?

    sat

     
  • At 2:39 AM, Blogger Blue Athena said…

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

     
  • At 2:41 AM, Blogger Blue Athena said…

    First time here, over from Enemy's blog. :)

    Interesting post.

    One life. Let's live it like we want to! :)

     
  • At 3:52 AM, Blogger pranav said…

    nice! got me thinking if I patronise any of my gay friends...I do rib them a hell lot...that wudnt be patronising, aye?:-)

     
  • At 4:02 AM, Blogger Vikster said…

    F-Cubed: I am true to myself. That's why I say I find it patronizing most times..even though they're actually on my side.

    Kestrel: Most of my friends ARE straight. And I'm out so no worries about having to hide from anyone.

    Vij: If you remember, the fireworks started after I confessed how incredibly attractive I find a certain straight Punju colleague of yours. How weirdly apt was that moment?

    Codey: It's not ONLY about the sex. That's secondary. It's abuot the feeling of being wanted. That's the feeling I have and the thing I miss most.

    Clostalk: If I had your luck with men, I wouldn't be bitching and moaning about my sad life here. I'd too busy be boinking the pizza delivery boy. LOL.

    Sat: Seijo is by my house in Bandra..right on Waterfield Road (near Moti Mahal)

    Blue Athena: Obviously not a believing Hindu LOL! ONe life? I'm fated to live through 1000's more. Hopefully not as dreary as this one!LOL!

     
  • At 11:20 PM, Anonymous Balaji said…

    Prussian Blue ? Hopefully you are not referring to this :)

    http://abcnews.go.com/Primetime/story?id=1231684&page=1

    Where is R.Kelly when you need him ?!!!

     

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