Today's guest post (courtesy my best friend Meenu)

"You know that you're toxic…"

Britney Spears might have been referring to it in a sexual way, but I am talking about platonic toxicity, i.e. toxic friends. I had many in my youth, which was not THAT long ago, who I have exiled out of my life. Back then, these people started as toxic friends and ended that way too. I am much happier without them in my life. What do you do when you think someone is a well-wisher, but turns into a toxic friend once life changes for you?

As you guys know, I recently got engaged! Trust me, I have done my time as a singleton, unlimited vague relationships, jerks that were just using me, long-distance romances that didn't materialize and much more. In fact, in the last 14 years of dating (first boyfriend Matt Lebel with a bonafide mullet-it was sexy then!), I have been more single than attached. And the attached ones were nothing to write about (yet I mention them). So finally, I meet a nice guy who treats me well and makes me happy. Most normal people are happy for me, but not the toxics.

Flashback: Back in Boston, I had a group of single gal pals I hung out with all the time. About 7-8 sexy, super-smart, kick-ass chicks available at any moment of need or otherwise for each other. We all had other best friends, but we all came together over our singledom- and I was sort of the joining glue between it all- the common friend. It wasn't like we were mourning or anything, but more so just company when we didn't have dates on the weekends. Well, I flew that nest to come and work in India for the last year or so and met A. Since then, most of my gal pals have been super supportive and happy for me, except one, let's call her F. Every time she says something about me getting hitched, it's cloaked in negativity. For example, "Now we are losing you! How come you didn't tell me sooner? Don't turn into Bridezilla! You are now banned from our single chicks' night out". In addition to thinks behind my back to the other\nfriends "Meenu has changed so much!". It just hurts me for some reason.It's not like she has met A. or seen us together, and some day oranother, the other girls will also have other priorities in their life.It's not like her and I were Bert and Ernie, we weren't that close. Or at least in my book we weren't.

I am not going to make assumptions and say she is jealous because she may have her reasons, but it still does hurt when someone takes unnecessary digs at me. One of the reasons I didn't share all this with her before is because she is the queen of making a small issues huge events and then it is embarrassing to face the disappointment when those expectations don't materialize. More and more, I am realizing she is toxic and will have to be phased out. Sadly, she will assume it's because I am with someone, when really it is her attitude that is driving me away. Any thoughts? Advice?

PS: I am guest blogging with Vikster because we were discussing this earlier and I felt compelled to write. It made me feel better.

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