I *heart* Bombay (and well..Boston)

I'm urban..in the way other people are mountain-people or tunafish junkies. I love city life...something about dreary concrete blocks and grumpy people totally gets my juices flowing. Ergo, this will be a blog about me, my two favourite cities (Bombay and Boston), my addiction to Vietnamese coffee and my views on Gregorian chant and it's efficacy in curing some types of tympannic membrane rupture. Enjoy!

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Festivus for the restofus....

Well, since I don't *really* celebrate Christmas (not since 2002 when I bought gifts - expensive ones for ALL my friends...only to get NOTHING in return...they all assumed that as a Hindu I didn't celebrate), and Ganesh Chaturthi for me has been destroyed by the immense spectacle that it's degenerated into (atleast in the Konkani community), I suppose Durga Puja is my only outlet for devotion and celebration...

Navratri with it's dandiya nites and Phalguni "Bull Dyke" Phatak nites never cease to provide me with hours of amusement the one night I drag myself to Goregaon or Ghatkopar (or wherever it is Gujjus congregate). Watching Kalpes and Hiral fighting over who gets to dance with Hemal or Rupal, all the time swirling about in skirts hitched up to their chests (I know it's traditional, but seriously, it looks ridiculous!); that's just so much fun. As is the prospect of watching all the Auntiejis and Bas matchmaking in the sidelines...Does anyone even dance at these dos anymore? All I see are people standing about looking at each other. For nine nights no less.

Read an article yesterday about Gujju men who spend upto 50,000 Rs. these nine nights just getting dolled up. The Age of the Gujju Metrosexual seems to have dawned. Eyebrow pluckings, chest waxing and pedicure/manicures...not to mention elaborate costumes and jewellery. This is attractive? Not to me! (Then again, I have yet to find a Gujju guy who's somewhere between Ghatkopar-type and Malabar Hill-type) I suspect I'd get *one* comment from someone offended by this..but c'est vrai mon ami!

Now Durga Puja..more my type. It's weird, I actually get religious around this time of the year...extends through Dussera and onto Diwali. I count myself as an agnostic Hindu but for these 3-4 weeks I actually begin to believe there's a Higher Power governing us all...all the effect of public devotion. One fails to be moved by the sight of thousands of people praying so deply. I go to the Ramakrishna Mission Durga Puja (or "Pujo" as those Bong snobs will have us belive) every year and I love it. I hang out there most of the evening praying, watching people pray and in general people watching. Plus, the Durgas are always so beautiful. I could spend hours just staring into the eyes of one. Plus, I love the words to "Mahishasurmardhini"...my aim is to finish learning it by the time Puja begins in a few days time.

Bong men? Well, all puffy cheeks, protruding eyes and attitude. Not my type either. I'm SO getting a comment from someone for this! I could go to the Lokhandwalla Puja and watch the Punju models coming to pray there....all good looks and no brains. Or to Shivaji Park and see the ghaati crowd show up in the evening. Washed out complexions, terrible accents and inferiority complexes all.

I'm SO going to be single methinks! I've set my expectations SO high, so far only M. has been able to meet them..and we all know how well that turned out. I know what I'm asking Durga this year.

Oh. And Happy Rosh Hashanah people...(to one person in particular!)

Current Music:
Jai Ma Sherowaali - Kaalia (Amitabh/Rekha doing dandiya)

The Halwai downstairs is blasting this so loud on his loudspeakers, I can barely hear myself think!


  • At 1:44 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    OK- you need to stop dissing Punjus in your posts! I am done with it- i refuse to read it anymore- you are an elitist!
    Onjvi, mai nai aandi blog parne!
    Meenakshi (grrr)

  • At 1:53 AM, Blogger Archster said…

    lol... The Golts havent been dissed. But then again, you dont find too many of those in Mumbai.

    So you havent lost your reader from good ole Madras. Not just yet at least. :)

  • At 1:57 AM, Blogger anydamnguy said…

    so all bongs look not so your type? i definitely have known u to say otherwise, but thats besides the point. u cant single out a whole community and say that they are horrible looking ppl.
    and u wud never meet so many nice and kind-hearted ppl in any other city in the world than kol.
    u shud be to belur math. i take my parents to belur math every year during durga puja.
    its awesome. thrilling.
    no other city be more spiritual than ours.

  • At 2:01 AM, Blogger Vikster said…


    The brickbats have started.

    Meenu: I *did* say Punjus were good loking no? And we all know, it's ALWAYS what's on the outside that counts! What have we learnt from watching SEx and the City together? Nothing?

    Archie: Don't even get me started on your sambar-smelling, IIT-going, oily hair-having Madrasis....

    Anydamnguy: I dunno about Calcutta. Never been there. But one thing I'll say, Bong women are GORGEOUS (Rupa Ganguli - Draupadi from the mahabharata almost made me straight!)

  • At 2:04 AM, Blogger Vijayeta said…

    Loved the post on the perfect kiss...esp. since i just wrote one myself 2 days back n got some cool comments! I agree with you on the bongs! Puffy cheeks, round glasses...One doesnt HAVE to be politically correct! U live only once, and in this one life, we might as well suck up to a community/clan more deserving than bongs ;)

  • At 2:08 AM, Blogger Vijayeta said…

    P.S. I agree it's ALWAYS what's outside that counts! Learnt it the hard way...

  • At 2:17 AM, Blogger anydamnguy said…

    Vijayeta : u suck

  • At 2:32 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Ok Ok- you win me back! I am so easy, and I'll save the drama for my momma. You know she loves it anyways..

    PS: I saw your momma at the train station!


  • At 2:58 AM, Blogger Vijayeta said…

    Thanks V...I'm adding you to my fave links list! Straight girl-gay best friend always rocks! Have a few gay friends in delhi who have lamented about the general indian attitude of/towards gay men! God, i can go on and on and on about it as i've played counsellor/matchmaker/cupid/punching bag countless times!

  • At 3:00 AM, Blogger Vijayeta said…

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  • At 3:15 AM, Blogger anydamnguy said…

    vijayeta : believe me , i am honest. U suck.

  • At 3:45 AM, Blogger Archster said…

    OYE Vikster:

    Please note the difference(s) between Madrasis and Golts. Golts are telegu speaking well mannered non-sambar non-oily folks who hale from Andhra Pradhesh! I may live in Madras, and i may even like sambar... but that dont make me one.

    Hmmppph... but im sure you think everything in the south is just one big blur in any case!


  • At 7:24 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    My dad is on the hunt for a bride, for me. No, the man does not know I'm a fag, I know, same old story.

    My father has a few problems that I could exploit. He can't see that well and I question his hearing so I thought maybe I could put you on his list of potential brides.

    What do I have to do to get you into a sari and explore you're more feminine side?

    I've seen some of the women he likes and DAMN that man is trying to push some passive aggresive shit one me. My dad likes his women real butch, Russian Female Rugby Team butch, a couple of the women he picked out in the past could have been men, I mean I even checked one for the old adam's apple.

    Maybe you could be shy and have your head covered a lot. You don't have to speak above a whisper --he'd think that was real sweet. I could hire a couple of actors to play your parents.

    And we'll just be real modern about the wedding and say we want to elope, that we choose to put all the cash that would have been spent on the wedding into a few original works from M.F. Husian, I mean that should be worth zillions when the man exits this deminsion, what is he now, 120 years old?

    what do you think? I can see you in a sari and I'm loving it.

    Duncan Hines

  • At 8:12 AM, Blogger Vikster said…

    I don't even know what you look like Duncan, and I'm in love with you.
    It's just that easy (as am I).

    Sari? Me? I'm a modern indian man! I wear low rise jeans and a thong!

    (Do I know you? REALLY? Do I? I could use someone I like to date you know!)

  • At 9:14 AM, Blogger Vijayeta said…

    Gosh!! Mushy admissions of love ALWAYS ALWAYS make me grin! And as far as the "I've never seen you but i'm so in love with you" feeling goes...i have mastered it to the greatest degree of perfection!
    So, Vikster and Duncan, do call me for ANY help whatsoever...playing 'mother/sister' at the "meet-the-parents" ceremony etc. Or finding the appropriate attire for the modern indian man u are... (I also am a stylist!) Or, basically anything :p

  • At 9:57 AM, Blogger karuna said…

    Don't we all loooweee our gujjus. Especially when they spill pickle on you while passing theplas accross an airplane!! (I kid you not)
    Archster, dunno bout vignes here but to most people i know the south is 'mallad' land, including bombay. So much for geography.

  • At 10:36 AM, Blogger Satya said…

    gujjussss ??? urghhh
    but seriously that falguni woman
    is amazing .. first look a friend of mine was like .. she's a guy no shes a girl .. no shes a guy ... oh no shes a girl :P

  • At 12:11 AM, Blogger DiTtY said…

    Hey Vikster,
    Dropped in here via Vijayeta's place... Read a few of your posts and I likes what I reads, preciouss :)

    And yes, there is something about this time of the year, isn't it? It makes you want to believe in some Higher Power and all of that... :) It almost makes me want to believe in hogwash such as destiny even!

    Will be back for more! :)

  • At 3:22 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…


    You might not know it but Vik looks fabulous in a sari. Especially those with a nice heavy pallu. I think your pops would buy it, does he like chicks with sideburns and goatees? Then Vik's your man. For the love of God, reveal yourself! Being mysterious is so over-rated!



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