Woof! It's time for the pet peeve....

Well, it's been a week of confronting my pet peeves here in ViksterLand (Or Viksteristan if you prefer). And no, I've bitched about allergy season long enough to even have pollen on my list of pet peeves..(OMG! I said "bitched" and "pet" in the same sentence...I must be a genius). I've collected a long long list of things that piss me off and behaviour that gets me all worked up. I need to vent. Festival time is over till the Diwali house cleaning season starts next week (Wilkommen to my murderers/assasins...their names? Dustus paralysis throatii, Danderus Canii and Paintus Flakes Sinusii ...Morituri te salutamus!)

1. Liars: I do/have done my fair share of lying. But, true to my Hypocritic Oath, I hate liars. Over the last month, I've had the opportunity to disprove Anne Frank's theory that "All people are basically good". People exist to (Pardon my French) "fuck you over" and "hurt you needlessly". Especially people who tell you "We want to date" and then end up on every online chatroom looking for a good fuck.

2. Beggars: I don't care about how horrible I am or uncaring I sound but I'm sorry. I DO NOT need to be guilted into giving money to people who push maimed children into my face at traffic lights. It's a very standard middle-class viewpoint which all you Champagne Socialists will hate.

3. Cowards: I don't care how deep you're burrowed into your closet. Giving me fake info about yourself doesn't necessarily endear me to you. If I had a Paisa for every Amit, Raj and Rahul I am introduced to, I'd have enough for a blow-up rubber doll I could take to clubs and pretend was my boyfriend (Of course, he'd just meet another airhead and leave me....).
Honestly, I understand how tough it is to come out, but lying to me about your name, job etc.? What do you think I'll do with that info? Sell it online to gayshaadi.com?

4. Markers with no erasers: My wrists are BLACK from wiping the board off after I make a presentation everyday (thereby neatly hiding the cutting I do to pass my time at Barista). WHERE are the erasers? Is there an eraser bunny that steals them all every night? He must be in cahoots with the elf that steals my pens every night. I swear, if someone rejects me because I'm too black-wristed, I'm blaming the eraser bunny!

5. People who bend book spines: GRR! I will throw the book at you and mug you for the money you owe me for the book. I love my books..I'm proud I haven't ever sold or destroyed one in over 27 years of reading (Yes. I learnt my alphabet at 11 months..I was a prodigy. Then I discovered heroin.)

6. Avvarekkai - No translation for this most-despicable-of-Konkani-veggies. Amma uses it in place of peas and I HATE it! I'm too old to throw tantrums so I just flatly refuse to eat it and order up a paneer makhanwala to go with the rice and dali toi (Punjabi food at a Konkani dinner table? Hai Ram!)

7. Shaving - I postpone this as long as I can and look progressively more and more intense as the week goes by. It's got to be the most GodAwful monotonus job in the world! I do enjoy getting shaved though..perhaps I'll head to my barber tonight..
Shaving....there....is also a pet peeve. I like to be well groomed....there...thus arises the major issue with itching as the hair grows back. Why can't I be like those hairless Eastern Europeans? Instead if I didn't shave I can easily be mistaken for a Persian carpet...Sigh. Thank G-d I live in India though..I can scratch my balls in public and people think it's a sign of manhood.

I'm peeved out. Felt good to get out my frustrations. I'm off to order some panner makhani and scratch my balls in private while reading a book with a perfect spine. Bliss!

Current music:
Where have all the cowboys gone? - Paula Cole

That's a weird lament for an Indian to sing along to, dontcha think?