Miss Manners! We need you!

So I'm going to go all Bree van der Kamp on the collective asses of every little spoilt brat/bitch who lives in Bombay but seems to infest Bandra with scary regularity. As a well brought up guy, I know how to treat people. Superior or inferior in class status (Oh! Don't you long for the pre-British days when we only oppressed people based on their birth and not economic status?). I have had it up to my (aquiline, slender, well-shaped) nose with the collective shenanigans of the Buntys and Rockys and Tanias and Anaitas of Bombay.

When did it become such a cool thing to abuse people in the service industry? Have I become sensitized to their feelings on account of living in America where every little thing is a "Yes please!" and "Have a nice day"? I used to notice it when I was younger..but thanks to my parents I never really became what I detest today in Bombay's people. We are a rude rude people. And we treat our menials (PC police! Please maaf this, I'm running out of synonyms for service-type people) like dirt. Not only are we rude by birth, but the rise in living standards and money we earn has been compensated by a sharp fall in civility and manners.

Case in point: Andorra's last night in Bandra. I stop by to get a burger while I'm pushed aside by Bunty McMuscles and his friend Rocky O'Smallpenis. "Give two burgers here" they demand. Not ask, not request, certainly not solicit. "Put more Schezwan sauce" they demand again "And hurry man, I'm hungry" they yell at the server who's trying his best to deal with 10 very hungry Bandraites. That done, they grab their burgers, fling (YES! fling!) their money at the server and leave, chomping even before they turn around (and with their mouth open too...Ugh!). No apologies for cutting in line, no sorrys to the aunties who haven't been able to be heard over their din, no smiles of sheepishness towards people who they shoved out of the way to get to the counter.

Case 2: How we treat people we employ. We are also incredibly lazy. In the last week, I've seen people call their servants out of another room to come over and hand them their phone (which was lying...3 feet away!). I've witnessed people interrupting their servant from his lunch so he can get up and get them a glass of water. Noticed them making fun of and talking about their servants IN FRONT of them as if they didn't even exist.

Case 3: A young boy calls his father a bastard for not buying him a toy at Shopper's Stop while I'm browsing the board game section. If I ever did that EVER, I'd have my teeth handed to me on a platter made up of my tightly stretched flayed skin. His father's response? "Sorry beta, I'll go to the ATM and get money for it". And as he's doing that, his son proceeds to throw a tantrum and beat his mother about her legs while she very calmly continues to shop. This is WHY people should have to take a class before bringing children into this world. ESPECIALLY the yuppie parents (the kinds whose kids names are Aryan and Michelle).

The more money we make, the more breeding we lose. Look at the Mafatlal family saga? Worth 10,000 crores Rs. and want to throw the 75 year old mother and the (decidedly bull dyke looking) sex-changed brother out onto the street. Witness the antics of the dime-a-dozen model fraternity who snort coke in posh clubs and smoke ciggies by the dozen while claiming to be good role models for children. Or the rich kids who drive Mercs at 16 and run over pedestrians while they drive drunk and then get out of it by blaming their drivers.

I'm DISGUSTED by the behaviour of Bombayites today. And by that, I mean mostly the young generation. MY generation. We have forgotten our values, our behaviour, our manners in the rush to show off our riches. It's times like these that I'm glad I'm middle-class and close to my family. Looking at the 12 year olds at Coffee Day behave with their Motorola mobiles and gelled-streaked hair and fake accents prancing around makes me so glad I was never exposed to that sort of lifestyle at that young an age.

If I ever see someone order around someone again just because of his social position again, I swear I'm going to force him to stand there and apologize. I'm that mad today.

Current Music:
Piya Haji Ali - Fiza Soundtrack

I find myself humming this when I pass Worli/Haji Ali on my long bus rides to town on weekends...I only wish I could reach the high pitches these qawwaals manage. I suppose I can't as long as I have a pair of cojones...