Update time

25 days to the big day and here's a few updates.

1. Not even one email applying to be my birthday date. Maybe I should relax my conditions. I will settle for all conditions relaxed except for the sexy ass in tight jeans. I think I am entitled a sexy ass'ed date after all I shit I've been through in my twenties.
*shakes fist at heavens and mouths "Bhagwaan maine tumse aaj tak kuch nahin maanga" dialogue*

2. The "No Beer" New year resolution is holding fast. Though I have been sorely tempted by the assorted open bars I've been to the last week or so. I always assumed temptation came as a man with horns and a tail wearing skin tight leather pants brandishing a pitchfork (Be still my trembling heart). Instead, I've come to discover it's for the most part a smiling bald Gujju friend holding out an ice cold, tall mug of beer...

3. The "Fruit only on one day of the week" rule has been modified to "Hanging out with fruit only on one day of the week". Didn't require much modification. The bananas stayed constant.

4. I am on a personal crusade tomake sure Size 12 mojdis are available for all us big foot Indians. 6 shops on Linking Road and all I could find was size 10. And seriously? Dancing at a sangeet followed by dancing at a baraat in shoes that are two sizes too small for you? TORTURE! I now have bleeding feet to match those so prominently displayed at my neighborhood Pali Naka cross.

5. Yes. I just compared myself to Jesus. I forgive you for the brickbats you're gonna throw my way.

6. I love Rakhi Sawant. She's bold, brash and crass. If I was straight, I'd hire her as my bai. And then ogle her as she swabs the floor.

7. WTF is up with winter in this benighted city? It's late evening here in Bombay and I have both the fan and the AC on! And I'm still sweating. Meanwhile, Delhi is at freezing point. Methinks it's time to pay the Dumb Punju Stereotypes of Delhi a visit. "I'm cold, hug me tighter please!"

8. "The Apprentice" as well as "America's Next Top Model" start their new seasons this week. As does "American Idol". How can I stand the excitement! I am going to be glued to the idiot box three nights a week. Bartenders at Seijo, Zenzi and Totos, will you miss me?

9. I just realized I have 7 Amits and 5 Rahuls on my cellphone. Why can't the gay bois in Bombay pick better fake names? I'd go with Raghunath or Manmohan or even Ignatius Sebastian Francis Almeida. I so like to stand out in a crowd!

10. I just found a dead fly in my lunchtime sandwich. I think I'm going to do the Princess Di thing and yak all into the ceramic throne for the next 10 minutes. And then sleep with my equerry and hook up with an Egyptian millionaire. Stay away from Parisian tunnels though!

Curret music:

Aiwa - Darine.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j6E05HrqlEs
Here's the link..low production values but such a catchy little song. I'd move to Lebanon in a heartbeat if it wasn't for Baba Ganouj and Hezbollah..