I *heart* Bombay (and well..Boston)

I'm urban..in the way other people are mountain-people or tunafish junkies. I love city life...something about dreary concrete blocks and grumpy people totally gets my juices flowing. Ergo, this will be a blog about me, my two favourite cities (Bombay and Boston), my addiction to Vietnamese coffee and my views on Gregorian chant and it's efficacy in curing some types of tympannic membrane rupture. Enjoy!

Monday, January 08, 2007

Update time

25 days to the big day and here's a few updates.

1. Not even one email applying to be my birthday date. Maybe I should relax my conditions. I will settle for all conditions relaxed except for the sexy ass in tight jeans. I think I am entitled a sexy ass'ed date after all I shit I've been through in my twenties.
*shakes fist at heavens and mouths "Bhagwaan maine tumse aaj tak kuch nahin maanga" dialogue*

2. The "No Beer" New year resolution is holding fast. Though I have been sorely tempted by the assorted open bars I've been to the last week or so. I always assumed temptation came as a man with horns and a tail wearing skin tight leather pants brandishing a pitchfork (Be still my trembling heart). Instead, I've come to discover it's for the most part a smiling bald Gujju friend holding out an ice cold, tall mug of beer...

3. The "Fruit only on one day of the week" rule has been modified to "Hanging out with fruit only on one day of the week". Didn't require much modification. The bananas stayed constant.

4. I am on a personal crusade tomake sure Size 12 mojdis are available for all us big foot Indians. 6 shops on Linking Road and all I could find was size 10. And seriously? Dancing at a sangeet followed by dancing at a baraat in shoes that are two sizes too small for you? TORTURE! I now have bleeding feet to match those so prominently displayed at my neighborhood Pali Naka cross.

5. Yes. I just compared myself to Jesus. I forgive you for the brickbats you're gonna throw my way.

6. I love Rakhi Sawant. She's bold, brash and crass. If I was straight, I'd hire her as my bai. And then ogle her as she swabs the floor.

7. WTF is up with winter in this benighted city? It's late evening here in Bombay and I have both the fan and the AC on! And I'm still sweating. Meanwhile, Delhi is at freezing point. Methinks it's time to pay the Dumb Punju Stereotypes of Delhi a visit. "I'm cold, hug me tighter please!"

8. "The Apprentice" as well as "America's Next Top Model" start their new seasons this week. As does "American Idol". How can I stand the excitement! I am going to be glued to the idiot box three nights a week. Bartenders at Seijo, Zenzi and Totos, will you miss me?

9. I just realized I have 7 Amits and 5 Rahuls on my cellphone. Why can't the gay bois in Bombay pick better fake names? I'd go with Raghunath or Manmohan or even Ignatius Sebastian Francis Almeida. I so like to stand out in a crowd!

10. I just found a dead fly in my lunchtime sandwich. I think I'm going to do the Princess Di thing and yak all into the ceramic throne for the next 10 minutes. And then sleep with my equerry and hook up with an Egyptian millionaire. Stay away from Parisian tunnels though!

Curret music:

Aiwa - Darine.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j6E05HrqlEs
Here's the link..low production values but such a catchy little song. I'd move to Lebanon in a heartbeat if it wasn't for Baba Ganouj and Hezbollah..

9 Comments:

  • At 3:06 PM, Blogger Hob Gadling said…

    WTF is your problem with Baba Ghanouj? I prefer Muhamarra best of all but still. Baba Ghanouj ain't bad...

     
  • At 12:40 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    loved that song....thanks...:)

     
  • At 9:34 PM, Blogger hungry eyes said…

    main kya karoon man..fag hags are actin pricey like theres no tomo..
    butt exercises are on:)

    hey..i also have 6 manishs on mah phonebook..i follow a neat mode of classification ..which we will discuss when we meet:)

     
  • At 11:14 PM, Blogger Dylan said…

    crucify him..
    crucify him....

     
  • At 11:54 PM, Blogger iz said…

    How can you be attracted to a Manmohan man? Or even Raghunath. I'd go for a Mario or Nikhil. Or is that too cliched?

     
  • At 9:47 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    How can anyone who can use the word "equerry" in a sentence possibly be single? For shame, Bombay boys...
    IGC

     
  • At 6:24 PM, Anonymous Priyank said…

    When someone says 'Hi I'm Rahul', I inadvertently wink at him.
    Soon we can coin better phrases. I'm Rahul (instead of I'm gay), or I love Rahul sex, or mates whispering 'You fucking Rahul' and so on.

    Hey, Parisian tunnels are quite hot somehow;)

     
  • At 6:37 AM, Blogger Wild Reeds said…

    Hey sweets
    Visiting your blog after months. Nice to see that good ol Vikster's flair remainins undiminished.
    Hugs and warm wishes coming your way...

     
  • At 12:48 PM, Blogger milkmaterial said…

    what's wrong with baba ghanoush? and some of them hezbollah lads can be quite... suitable for tragedy queens.

     

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