Aahhh, it's been a while!
Life has been busy..work is kicking my ass. Well, not so much work as the boss. Which is all good and fine but which leaves me exhausted physically and mentally at the end of the day. Or perhaps I'm just getting old. I can't seem to drink or party as much any more and people are starting to bore me to tears! I'm dreading the day when the first white pube makes an appearance. It's anytime now...
The only thing that keeps me sane is window shopping at Esprit on Linking Road (where the adorable salesman is probably sick of me trying stuff on and walking out) and clubbing at Hawaiian Shack on the weekends. Though lately I've been skipping Olive nights on Thursday to make a random stop at the Shack. It's so refreshing to get away from the pretentious, richie-rich prats that infest Olive (including me in my over-priced shoes) and head over to the Shack for some good ol' Bandra boys and girls. Beer tastes so much better when you're dancing to "Sexy Back" by Justin Timberlake at the Shack instead of that g-dawful Benny Benassi remix of California Dreaming that the DJ at Olive thinks is so cool. P.S. How fucking awesome is Sexy Back! It's like my new sex song - dethroning "Enjoy" by Bjork. All I have to do is figure out how to keep that bloody Ipod plugged in while I'm doin' the nastee. (I just found out that one of my friends shakes his groove thang to Hindustani classical music....yikes!)
What else has been happening? Well, I'm all charged up and ready for the sis who's showing up in a couple of days to do what every good Indian girl has to do atleast once in her life - get married. (Actually I think a "good" Indian girl will only do that once .. quite similar to a blowjob) So, life is exciting (sorta)..I've had to put up with assorted auntiejis telling me "You're next hanh!" Grinning and bearing it is getting to be quite a chore. Reminds me of a painful series of dates I had recently where I had to really struggle to stay awake through the BORING dates. I settled for a fixed smile and happy thoughts - puppies, paneer mountains and naked frat boys.
I spent what I (and everyone else) thinks is a bleedin' fortune on a sherwani for the wedding...20 grand. Yikes. And they don't even come with matching mojdis! My mum's rationalized the expense by telling me I could always wear it to my wedding. She hasn't grasped the fact that I'd have to move to Canada or South Africa to do that. Or the fact that I'd need a boy who would wanna spend more than 45 minutes with me. Till then, the sherwani goes into cold storage. Very cold storage.
Still, I love weddings. And this will be a blast. I get teary at weddings. Not at Konkani weddings though. They're so busy and insane that there's almost not time to figure out what the hell's happeneing. Even the groom and bride end up looking shell-shocked in most of their pictures. I wonder how the sis is gonna react to 1500 of our closest relatives and friends showing up to greet her! Conversations with cousins who've been through that always involve mention of the back ache that results from our charming custom of touching the feet of EVERYONE older than you to get their blessings. Poor poor poor sis. Bending over a 1000 times. And she's not even a gay boi in Bombay.
Next time? Pictures of the sherwani! Pictures of the diamonds! Pictures of me wondering when my turn will come!
Till then:
Current Music:
Sexy Back - Justin Timberlake
It's 4 pm on a Monday and this song makes me wanna fuck. What's new?
10 Comments:
At 2:47 AM, kate said…
This post made me giggle so much!!
and i love Sexy Back.
At 3:38 AM, Anonymous said…
Welcome back. You're in high form, tired or not...
Yes, definitely, next time we want pix of you looking like the cover of that book on Elizabeth Taylor's jewellery collection, with strings of pearls and diamonds looped on your fingers and framing your eyes.
Make sure the wedding photographer gets a few variations on that.
At 12:01 AM, Toni Farley said…
I'm downloading Sexy Back now. You under-glorified song promoter. And don't knock South Africa just yet. There's got to be some corner in the world ... maybe that's it.
P.S. It's on my list of got-to-go places.
At 5:06 AM, Anonymous said…
Wat else can I say... Vikram is back !!! Loved it... after such a long long time...
Cheers,
Rupesh !
At 6:09 AM, The Dancing Writer said…
Don't forget, you can get married is Taxachusetts as well!! Come back here!!!
Miss you,
Meenu
At 6:48 AM, Anonymous said…
Oooh oooh THAT Song!
Great post. ^_^
At 1:18 PM, Ram said…
i know exactly what ur going through...my sister's getting married in jan...and everybody in my family too is reminding me to death about me being next...
At 11:20 AM, Anonymous said…
Ok,
Tu as dit, in an earlier post, that you want to be adopted by a rich old Parsi woman. How about a Parsi in Paris man??? Not so rich, and not so old.
And one who meets Johnny Depp from time to time (as part of my job). Not kidding. He lives here, you know, and as he's human, he does go out and rub shoulders with ordinary humans...
Your writing affects me with its perception and nonchalant humor.
BUT your Nov.post was a copout, buddy. Keep 'em longer, and keep 'em coming! Sexy Back and all. This long-gone Bandra boy craves nostalgia like only you can provide!
Bises...
At 10:42 PM, Ameet said…
You're next
:D
At 10:18 PM, Anant said…
who were the BORING dates?
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