I *heart* Bombay (and well..Boston)

I'm urban..in the way other people are mountain-people or tunafish junkies. I love city life...something about dreary concrete blocks and grumpy people totally gets my juices flowing. Ergo, this will be a blog about me, my two favourite cities (Bombay and Boston), my addiction to Vietnamese coffee and my views on Gregorian chant and it's efficacy in curing some types of tympannic membrane rupture. Enjoy!

Monday, September 18, 2006

Innappropriateness rocks!

Courtesy http://www.pbfcomics.com/

I have come to the conclusion that I have the sickest sense of humor of anyone I know. Well, a couple of people I know come close to it, but most of my friends are way too PC to even admit that they find any of this remotely funny.

I've shut up entire parties relating my endless repretoire of "dead baby" jokes....the silence that usually follows a rendition of my favorite three can only be broken by the sound of some auntieji fainting or some chappie saying "That's not funny in the least". Ah well, to each his (or her) own, I say! I remember cracking up at Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder jokes, Michael Jackson jokes made me choke on my burrito (OK, so that's not a euphemism..). I heart Pope jokes as for the MCP ones? I've risked beatings when I've shared them with my rather "haalthy and waalthy" female friends (Several of who are from the greater Delhi area....Delhi breeds them big and fighter-cock like)

Does this mean I'm a bad person? Well yes and no. I crack up at these jokes but my heart's in the right place (for the most part it's somewhere around my knee...). Do I really want dead babies in microwaves? Do I want Hellen Keller's dog to pee on her leg? Do I want Micheal Jackson to be anywhere close to a boy? Well, not really...but it's funny if it happens.

So in the immortal words of some woman on the Ricki Lake show (I was addicted..I'd TIVO it so I could watch it after I got home from work), "Y'all don't know me!" and "Don't hate, appreciate!".

I leave you with three of my favorite dead baby jokes. I've left out the more offensive ones (cause they are certainly not for a couple of weak-hearted peeps I know that read this....and I don't want to pay for your stroke-recovery at Bombay hospital..)

1. What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies?
You can't unload the bowling balls with a pitchfork.

2. Three expectant mothers are sitting in the obstetrician's waiting room, smiling to themselves and knitting.

One lady puts down her knitting, picks up her handbag, takes out a bottle of pills, swallows one, then continues knitting. She sees the other two looking at her and explains, "Vitamins. Good for mother, good for little baby."

The second lady puts down her knitting, picks up her handbag, takes out a bottle of pills, swallows one, then continues knitting. She pats her stomach and says, "Essential minerals. Good for mother, good for little baby."

The third lady puts down her knitting, picks up her handbag, takes out a bottle of pills, swallows one, then continues knitting. She glances at the other two, smiles and shrugs and says, "Thalidomide. I can't knit sleeves."

3. Why was the dead baby in the tree?
The neighborhood kids lost their frisbee...

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14 Comments:

  • At 7:19 AM, Blogger Irshad said…

    Btw most of the cartoons on that site were un-PC and totally cracked me up. I was in splits!

     
  • At 7:37 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    hey cmon this is funny !!!
    btw how do u tivo in bombay ? or rather can u tivo in bombay ??

    some devil

     
  • At 11:22 AM, Anonymous rp said…

    Ricki Lake - Talk show? My dear, that's been gone a long time, at least 7 years. She had her 15 minutes of fame with "Hairspray".

    In India in the 80's there were the Khalistan jokes too.For example,

    What did Madonna say to Sant Bhindranwale?

    Ans: Pape don't preach.

     
  • At 11:31 AM, Blogger mumbai_jerry said…

    joke no. 2 and 3 were good.....but sorry.....i really did not find joke no. 1 funny.....

    And BTW.....what 'bout *incest* jokes??? like.....sis says to bro.....you have a big dick just like dad's.......and then the bro replies......mom told me the same last night.....

     
  • At 12:34 PM, Blogger Meenakshi said…

    What do you call a chubby girl with nothing to do?

    Moti-vaiting!!


    Hahaha

    Do you also tell grosser than gross jokes?

     
  • At 9:30 PM, Blogger Rajas said…

    This comment has been removed by the author.

     
  • At 6:31 AM, Blogger Hob Gadling said…

    Hehehehehhehehehe!

    I bet you know about Jay Pinkerton and Spiderman?

     
  • At 6:40 AM, Blogger Hob Gadling said…

    Also Norm MacDonald on John Stewart about Steve Erwin.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4yjDgmeXQPo

     
  • At 12:36 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Hahaha
    Anydamnguy

     
  • At 3:14 AM, Blogger f-cubed said…

    Drafted a reply but it was waaayyy tooo loooong so decided to make apost of it.

    Here is the link

    http://f-cubed.blogspot.com/2006/09/daddy-dadi-same-only-no.html

     
  • At 7:48 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Vik you need to reply to my email ASAP.. I sent it to your orkut email id..or call me

    Priya

     
  • At 2:20 AM, Blogger In Exile said…

    fuck that frisbee is funny !

     
  • At 10:13 AM, Blogger Dylan said…

    But I found joke #1 the funniest.

    A standup comic in a London club did a little set about him and his mother being in an .. unconventional.. relationship. I had a fight with two of my best friends cause I found it funny and my friends thought he - and I - were really sick people.

     
  • At 5:41 PM, Blogger satya said…

    woman's walking on street, one boob hanging out of her dress. people are staring, though not bringing her attention to the issue at hand. one gentleman plucks up courage to point out the wardrobe malfunction to the woman. woman responds - "damn, i left the baby on the bus again."

    ok, had to share. love the writing, vik!

     

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