I *heart* Bombay (and well..Boston)

I'm urban..in the way other people are mountain-people or tunafish junkies. I love city life...something about dreary concrete blocks and grumpy people totally gets my juices flowing. Ergo, this will be a blog about me, my two favourite cities (Bombay and Boston), my addiction to Vietnamese coffee and my views on Gregorian chant and it's efficacy in curing some types of tympannic membrane rupture. Enjoy!

Monday, January 30, 2006

Pampering myself

Another birthday approaches. The Vikster (One now refers to ones self in the third person. One is easily amused!) grows older. And wiser? Word on the street is...NOT! One insists that everything one has done this year has been good and no fault should be attached to one for all one's mishaps and bloopers. (One is already *so* over "one").

Meenu reminded me that the last time I had a birthday, I wallowed in self-pity for most of the day before meeting up for dinner at Gajalee (Hooray for my favourite restaurant in Bombay!) with her and 6 of my friends where I proceeded to demolish the heck out of this full ravas fry. Thanks to C. who bought me orchids that time..I had a fun time trying to explain to the bemused rickshawwalla what I was doing at 2 am walking around festooned with purple orchid blossoms (This as opposed to all the other times when I'm festooned with Jasmine blossoms. OK. Forgive me, I just found out I'm blogging a screening of Umrao Jaan and was just getting into the mood).

I haven't really celebrated my birthday since I turned 21. At 22 I was alone in a Virginia winter, ditto 23, at 24 I actually moved apartments from Arlington to Brookline that day so I remember a birthday meal of beer and pizza, at 25 I was huddled under a duvet boo-hooing that my life was over, at 26 I was shovelling snow from my yard (ALL Frikkin DAY!), at 27 I was mourning an ex...28 you just heard about.

And now I'm almost 29. Wow. Time flies! This means in that quaint auntie-uncle lingo, I'm "running" 30. Yikes! Major panic time approaching. Should I panic now, or just wait till I actually hit the big 3-0? Hey, "3-0" is also my score with boyfriends! Is this a sign from up above? Anyway, all I know is I'm doing it with a bang. Not "that" kind, though "it" would make for a thoughtful birthday present. (I just realized I now have 4 quotation marks in this para alone. I hate my "Valley-Girl" avatar already!) Meenu and me have sat down over a drink (or was it a joint? I forget) and talked about what I should do/how I should spend my birthday. Emphasis on the word "spend". That should give you some idea.

Retail therapy! That's the ticket to happiness. Having already spent 5 grand on books at last week's Strand Book Sale ("Elizabeth of Austria, Lucrezia Borgia, The Great Mughals, Dante's Inferno, Arthashatra" - and I wonder why I'm destined to be alone LOL!), I now have a budget thinner than my upper arm after a Ramzan fast. Infusions of my meagre savings have inflated it to a respectable 4 figures and now the thought of how I'm spending it is bringing joy to my heart (and saliva to my mouth..but we'll discount that as having something to do with the Andorra's roast chicken leg sitting on my table). So what do I do with my millions? For one: I'm buying a suit. Ever since US Airways lost my baggage one nightmarish Thanksgiving, I've not had something formal to wear. OK, so I have nowhere formal to wear it to. But my friend S. (who is getting married to my other firend S.) tells me I'll be invited to his wedding. So I'm gonna look hot for all the Gujju-Punju folks out there, scarfing down my pani-puri and butter-chicken while looking supremely cool in my Armani? Ungaro? Gabbana?....Chalo, Raymonds...

Also, I'm "spa-ing" it. Yep. This homo is going the metro way. I'm planning on getting shaved, plucked, waxed, ironed and blow dried for good measure. A steam, a massage and facial later, I'm hoping to be unrecognizable enough that I can ask the same people out again. (And begin the rejection phase with a new face. Somethings never change eh?).

Actually I'm only "spa-ing" it (Why can't I say "spa-ing" without the quotes?) so I can blog about it. Also cause my friend A. tells me she had this really hot guy there squeezing out her black/white heads (what's the difference?) I haven't had either head squeezed in a while now (I pause to re-read this sentence and check if it's going to offend anyone. Then I realize, I don't give a flying fuck. Hehehe. Flying fuck.)

And then fnally, go through my phone book and call up everyone I know (or haven't erased for some imaginary slight) and ask them to join me in drinks, dancing and bitching. And presents. Lots of them (Preferably 6'2, muscled and wearing a bow. "Only" the bow).

Current Music:
Messiah - Handel

Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Halle-lu-jah! Haaaaa-hale-le-le-lu-jah!


  • At 5:19 AM, Blogger roswitha said…

    Do I KNOW Catullus? I was planning to name my firstborn male child Caius Valerius! (And if I accept your proposal ... somehow ... I can see that WILL end up happening.)

    Cheers on the birthday! As much as the prospect of a loveless paunchful future might await you, me and all of us, it would be far worse to go back to being painful, ignorant sixteen. Growing older and wiser is kind of sexy, after all.

    Lastly: THE STRAND BOOK SALE! Holy fuck. First year of my life I have money to spend on it and I'm stuck in a city that doesn't read. The heart, it weepeth.

  • At 4:16 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…


    I know you hate me cuase you don't even acknowledge that i exist but here i go writing to you while this smoky grey cat named snickers rubs my fingers with her face as i try to peck away at the darn keys of my apple notebook. Your birthday is coming up and i wanted to say happy b day and since i already crossed that threshold called 30 i can tell you that its okay on the otherside --most peole still think I'm 28 and i plan on working that till i'm about 44, anyway back to you...you will survive, you've got friends, you've got books, you've got culture, and you've got a healthy attitude towards fried pasrty, all you need now is romance, and i'm sure that's on the way....happy birthday homey.
    duncan hines

  • At 9:28 PM, Anonymous mitali said…

    Get over it! You are not getting any sympathy from this 29 year old.

    And oh, I'd like the "bow" guys too, reserve the straight ones for me please ;)

  • At 10:39 PM, Blogger F-cubed said…

    Mitali darling - There are NO straight guys wearing a bow!


  • At 10:55 PM, Anonymous Irshad said…

    (Preferably 6'2, muscled and wearing a bow. "Only" the bow).

    Sounds suspiciously like Dylan...

  • At 11:38 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Viksy baby
    U r getting funnier by the day. Has it got something to do with advancing age? must be: look at f-cubed -he's the funniest! ;)
    Here's to 'appier times ahead.

    Song of the week : Tum jeeyo hazaro saal... hum sab haste rahe.

  • At 10:16 AM, Blogger Archster said…

    truly funny post.

    when's the big day?

  • At 10:38 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Hey...happy birthday...do share the happy 'date' with us attached straight fiends too....will certainly send out a prayer and a shout out for you!! Though considering my success with both, it may actually be pretty vain even trying. All i wish for is that you find happiness in any form...even if it is wearing only a bow!! Meanwhile,warm hug....keep writing. The last 10 days spent waiting for what you may come up with next were highly frustrating...

    love tarun

  • At 10:57 PM, Blogger Vikster said…

    Ros: The *one* person who I know who reads Catullus and it's a woman. And Far Away. Sigh.

    Duncan: That comment DID NOT sound the least bit like you! Everything OK with you? Or did that Brazilian wax go badly..badly wrong?

    Mitli Miss: Oh yeah! I forgot you're my "older" "unmarried" cousin! HEHEHEHE!

    Viraf: Truer words were never said.

    Irshy: You know it! Though I thought I was supposed to be madly in love with KP?

    h: OMG! You're hoping I look like Viraf? Nahin!! Spa/plastic surgeon/gym..here I come!

    Archie: 2/2

    Tarun: Aww! Thank you! For the record, most people I know are attached straight folk. When you hit 29, the only single ones around tend to be you and your gay friends.

  • At 9:20 AM, Blogger Jayanth Madhav Barki said…

    just found out I'm blogging a screening of Umrao Jaan and was just getting into the mood.


    Juss loved your blog!
    Hope you don't mind that I commented.

  • At 12:14 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Hey Vick!

    Since it is now officially your birthday...i figured you may be up celebrating it - nursing a good drink, though not with anyone - just romanticising over thoughts from a different place and time, far away in one of those exotic books you keep mentioning. Or you may already be a couple of drinks down...having a rocking time with good friends...or like all other ppl i know, tryin to sleep cuz tomorrow is after all a working day...b'day or otherwise!! But do live it up...feel great about the day...I have a theory about how the next decade belongs to sexy, unattached 30 somethings who are doing well enough to be financially independent...You are almost all those things....there is really no reason to look for an excuse to be happy....just go out and have a great time!!

    Cheers!! Tarun

  • At 12:19 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    by the way...current music:
    Happy Birthday: Flipsyde
    Happy birthday: Frank Sinatra
    and..The soundtrack of unfaithful, by Ali Farka Toure with Ry Cooder

    :) Tarun

  • At 12:27 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    what do you mean i don't sound like myself, and who told you about the BRAZILIAN BUT WAX, that was totally on the down low...I love my smooth bottom though, it was worth the expense.

    Anyway, it's tough writing and working so I stop and throw shit down and then get back to work before anyone notices at the OLD NAVY factory..OHH here comes the BOSS lady, she a KOREAN bitch and i'm trapped in her filthy sweat shop in LA, if anyone cares, send HELP!

    Your Truely,

  • At 10:58 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Many Happy Returns of The Day!
    A prayer for your happiness from all of us. It is great knowing you. Hope to keep coming back here forever. :)


Post a Comment

<< Home